Final Blog, addendum

As one final joke among my teammates, I was somehow selected to give the devotional at our final Zoom meeting.  Among the 30 team members, I would definitely be in the bottom 3 in spiritual maturity.

But I took the assignment with all seriousness and earnestness.... and God blessed the words He gave me.  I was encouraged to share them to an wider audience in hopes that it may bless someone who is going through a dark valley, so hear is what I shared.

Our home of rest and restoration

I believe it’s a well-known fact that most of you know that I lost my 21-year-old son, Jacob, back in 2009. He finally succumbed after a life-long struggle with health caused by a congenital heart defect. A few months after his death, we purchased our creek side home in the mountains of North Carolina. At the time, we lived in Marietta, GA, and our plan was for this cabin to be a weekend getaway for a place of rest and restoration as we continued our journey of grief.

One way we tried to remember and to honor Jacob was by planting two dogwood trees, one that produced pink flowers and the other, white.  We would travel to the cabin from Marietta every other weekend and check on them and enjoy them. Despite the fact that my thumbs are definitely not green, both of the dogwoods survived the first summer and fall.  

But one weekend in late winter we came up to the cabin and, as I was inspecting the place, I was dismayed to see that the beavers from the creek had somehow circumvented the protective chicken wire that I had placed around each of the dogwood trees.

I was devastated by this brazen act of vandalism done by a four legged creature with buck teeth to one of the dogwoods. You see, this tree was to symbolize the life of Jacob and now this furry beast had decimated it.  Then I began to smile as I could hear Jacob’s gravelly voice speaking to me, “Pops, since when did I give a hoot about dogwood trees?”

In the following years, I continued to watch and care for those dogwoods and they began to teach me a spiritual truth. They reminded me of my faith in God and how it had changed shape over the years.

For years, my tree of faith had grown straight and true, producing blossoms and leaves as it grew upward and outward. I owe much of that to my Christian parents who beautifully modeled for me  - love for family, love for the church, and love for God and His world.

Like the root system of the dogwood that grew deep and wide, drawing the needed nutrients and water to keep the tree alive, I received a well-rounded Christian training at church and, later, in seminary.

But then Jacob died ... and the trunk of my tree of faith was severed at the top.  Since that time, the appearance and substance of my faith has been changed dramatically.

Jacob’s death has caused me to analyze how faith works; how prayer works; how God works.  I have come up with lots of questions and very little answers.  My faith has been challenged and altered ... but it persistently clings to life. Rather, God and His grace has persistently clung onto me in the midst of my doubts, anger, and questions.

the damaged dogwood
that refused to quit

Over the years, the dogwood tree that was ravaged by the beaver has struggled to survive and it has compensated with the loss of the main trunk by using a branch of the tree as its new main trunk. It is not as pretty and fully developed as the other dogwood, but it still produces beautiful flowers.

To my LifeWay Church Partner family, as I have gotten to know each of you… you, like me, have endured some challenges in life. I can think of several who have lost loved ones … a wife, a child, or another one dear to your heart. Others have faced significant health issues, either personally or have had to sit by the bed of their stricken spouse and/or child.  Many of us have gone through the gauntlet of an ugly church situation and have been unceremoniously pushed out into the wilderness.

Each of us, in some way, have faced trauma that has attacked our tree of faith.  And here we are today, having to say good-bye to our ministry we loved and to a family we have served alongside faithfully. We have been ravaged and brought low.  

But beneath the surface, our deep root system has stayed intact to God, our life giver. He continues to slowly supply the life-giving sap to our tree of faith that prominently displays the scars of life’s challenges. Our faith is still alive and growing despite the fact that it has been forever altered and changed. I would dare say that because of the challenges we have endured, our faith has deepened and has become more authentic. Our faith tree will never be one of symmetrical beauty again. But we are ‘still in the game’. We will continue to grow and produce fruit as we remain tapped in the main power source. By God’s abundant grace, our ugly looking tree of faith continues to live and grow despite the damage that has been done. In fact, some have said to me that it is the scars that I bear and the way that I bear them has been an invaluable encouragement to them in their darkest moments. (I failed to resist in saying “chicks dig scars”)

And, thankfully, God continues to love and nurture each of us despite our scars and defects. He has no expectations of equal production, just of equal love. And His grace nurtures all our trees equally, whether they are deformed or full.

As I close, one of my favorite passages of scripture is Hebrews 11, known as the hall of faith chapter.   The writer lists people throughout biblical history that have displayed great faith.  People like:

Abraham

Isaac

Jacob

Joseph

Moses

Rahab .... just to name a few

But then the spotlight is thrown on the following …..

... and others had trials of mockings and scourgings, … of bonds and imprisonment:  they were stoned, they were sawn asunder, they were tempted, they were slain with the sword: they went about in sheepskins, in goatskins; being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated

Names are not given to these heroes of the faith, but God knows who they are and He made sure that it was known for all eternity that, as it says in verse 38

and the world was not worthy of them! 

To my Church Partner family, our names may not be chiseled in some building, but God knows our faith and the impact we have made to countless others.

Then the writer went on to say in Hebrews 12:1-2  

Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every hindrance  Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us,

The Church Partners team has been one another’s best cheerleaders since its inception. We have encouraged one another, mentored one another, and kept each other’s spirits up. We are quite a crowd of witnesses.

In recent days, I am sure many of you, just like me, have received many words of encouragement and thanks for the ministry we have provided to countless churches and ministers. We can take solace in knowing that for many of these we have heard from that we have positively changed the trajectory of their ministries and lives. We have carried out our ministries with excellence, expertise, and compassion.

Today we will finish this race well. Now, each of us prepares for the next leg of our race, wherever it takes us. Our days of seeing each other and serving with each other is officially over.  But even if we never have the opportunity to see each other physically, we will always be able to count on this team, this family to stand and cheer for each other.

 I love you of all.   Thanks for being a colleague and friend.


I hope these words can encourage someone today.