I Visited Your Church Today

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I visited your church today.  Let me tell you how this happened.

I saw your church earlier in the week as I was driving around lost. I found you on your website but couldn’t easily find out address and service times so I had to ‘google’ you to find up the address and phone number. I called the church hoping to speak to a person but listened to your “list of menu options” for service times, and got myself and my three children ready on time.

We’re new in town, and this is the fourth church we’ve visited.  We step inside, hopeful.  Perhaps here I’ll find help teaching the Word to my children.  Perhaps here we’ll grow spiritually.  Or maybe we’ll receive the same welcome we got at the other churches.

“Good morning!  And isn’t it a fantastic day!”  says the greeter, handing us programs.

“Yes.  I’m so glad it’s cooling off.”

“Are you visiting?” he asks.

“Yes.  We just moved here.”

“Isn’t that grand!”  He says, stepping back and looking over our shoulders.  “Mr. Charlie!  And how are you today?”

Evidently everyone has taken the same greeter class.  Again and again someone offers a limp hand saying, “I’m so glad you came,” without smiling at all, quickly moving on, job finished.  I am itching to ask about the women’s Bible study, choir practice, and Sunday school.  But then they’re gone, chatting with a good friend in the next pew.

After wandering around between Sunday school and church, trying to find a door to the sanctuary that doesn’t open into the choir loft, we’re late.  The sanctuary is nearly full, but there’s one empty row – at the very front.  So we walk past hundreds of eyes, “new people” on parade.

As I settle the kids, a lady on the end whispers to someone behind her, “I just don’t know where John and Steve are going to sit now.”  I chose the deacon’s row.  I cringe and turn, searching for another pew to move my family to, but the place is packed and the music is starting.

After the service, I buckle my children into the car, pile the take-home papers and Bible on the dash, and I start to cry.

This is a true story.  I have been an active church member, serving in a number of capacities before we had to move to a new state.  I have visited four churches over the last three months, and I am frustrated and disheartened enough to quit church altogether.  Why has it been so difficult to find a new church home?

After our experience, I’ve come up with four things pastors, Sunday School teachers, and folks in the pews can do to help visitors feel at home.

1.       Develop a greeting ministry with the visitor, not the greeter, in mind.  This goes beyond shaking hands and handing out programs.  This extends to escorting me to my children’s classes, answering questions about the different ministries of the church, and seeing to any obvious needs I may have.

2.       Choose hospitality over visitation.  I’d rather have someone from the church invite me to their house, so I can get to know them a little better and so I don’t feel I am and my house (which wasn’t unpacked yet) is on inspection.

3.        Recognize Sunday School as an initial contact point.  Often a visitor’s first experience with a new church is dropping a child off at Sunday School.  Greeting new students and their parents warmly, with interest, is encouraging.  Adult Sunday School teachers also serve as important first contacts.  We attended one Sunday School class for a few weeks.  In those weeks, only one couple learned our names.  The rest smiled that little smile that told us, “I’m so glad you came, but I’m not really interested in you.”

4.       Become visitors for a day.  Those who have belonged to the same church for several years may not remember what being a visitor is like.  A simple exercise can re-sensitize you; visit a church where no one knows you.  Go outside your community, outside your denomination.  Go without knowing what to wear or what ministries are available.  Pay attention to how you’re received.

Welcoming someone new does not happen automatically.  It involves intentionally setting aside natural habits to show genuine caring.  It involves welcoming your visitors in same way that Christ would: with open hearts.

THINGS YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ….

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FOR TRAINING LEADERSHIP: Ministry Pathways by Ministry Grid; Simplified plans for training ministry leaders throughout your church. http://buff.ly/1jZJIW5

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Free Discipleship webcast, May 3^rd at 1:00pm (EDT) - https://www.facebook.com/BibleStudiesForLife/videos/840055016099166/?pnref=story

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FOR DISCIPLESHIP:  DevoHub, a new way of delivering a daily devotional to your church and community - http://devohub.com/

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Disciples Path, a plan for developing disciples - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Disciples-Path

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: 33 The Series, A Man and His Fatherhood - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/33-the-series-volume-6-a-man-and-his-fatherhood-leader-kit-P005717351

FOR STUDENT MINISTRY: Essential Skills for a Student Pastor webcast -  buff.ly/1ONUXbD 

FOR STUDENT MINISTRY: Disciples Path for students – a new series for developing your student’s discipleship - http://www.lifeway.com/Disciples-Path/Youth/c/N-1z0znzeZ1z141ym?intcmp=DisciplesPath-MTX-Text-Students-20150625

FOR KIDS MINISTRY: Free registration for background checks for your VBS and Summer staff - http://www.lifeway.com/Article/composite-home-background-checks?intcmp=ChAdmin-Promo-Text-BackgroundChecks-20121001

FOR KIDS MINISTRY: Customized VBS promotional helps and address lists - https://prospectservice.lifewaystores.com//default.aspx?intcmp=iTeam2-Tiled-Church-Admin-Mailing-Lists