My First Sunday at Your Church

By Jennifer Smith-Morris

Today I visited your church.  I found out about your church and the service times on your website, and got myself and my three children ready on time.

We’re new in town, and this is the fourth church we’ve visited.  We stepped inside, hopeful.  Perhaps here I’ll find help teaching the Word to our children.  Perhaps here we’ll grow spiritually.  Or maybe we’ll receive the same welcome we got at the other churches.

“Good morning!  And isn’t it a fantastic day!”  says the greeter, handing us programs.

“Yes.  I’m so glad it’s cooling off.”

“Are you visiting?” he asks.

“Yes.  We just moved here.”

“Isn’t that grand!”  He says, stepping back and looking over our shoulders.  “Mr. Charlie!  And how are you today?”

Evidently everyone has taken the same greeter class.  At the ‘welcome center’ someone offers a limp hand and say, “I’m so glad you came,” with a bland smile, handing me some material and quickly moving on, job finished.  I am itching to ask about the women’s Bible study, choir practice, and Sunday school.  But then they’re gone, chatting with a good friend nearby.

After wandering around the church, trying to find a door to the sanctuary that doesn’t open into the choir loft, we’re late.  The sanctuary is nearly full, but there’s one empty row – at the very front.  So we walk past hundreds of eyes, “new people” on parade.

As we settle the kids, a lady on the end whispers to someone behind her, “I just don’t know where John and Steve are going to sit now.”  I chose the deacon’s row.  I cringe and turn, searching for another pew to move my family to, but the place is packed and the music is starting.

After the service, I buckle my children into the car, pile the take-home papers and Bible on the dash, and I start to cry.

This is a true story.  I have been an active church member, serving in a number of capacities before we had to move to a new state.  I have visited four churches over the last three months, and I am frustrated and disheartened enough to quit church altogether.  Why has it been so difficult to find a new church home?

 After our experience, I’ve come up with four things pastors, Sunday School teachers, and folks in the pews can do to help visitors feel at home.

1. Develop a greeting ministry with the visitor, not the greeter, in mind.  This goes beyond shaking hands and handing out programs.  This extends to escorting me to my children’s classes, answering questions about the different ministries of the church, and seeing to any obvious needs I may have.

2.  Choose hospitality over visitation.  I’d rather have someone from the church invite me to their house, so I can get to know them a little better and so I don’t feel I am and my house (which wasn’t unpacked yet) is on inspection.

3.   Recognize Sunday School as an initial contact point.  Often a visitor’s first experience with a new church is dropping a child off at Sunday School.  Greeting new students and their parents warmly, with interest, is encouraging.  Adult Sunday School teachers also serve as important first contacts.  We attended one Sunday School class for a few weeks.  In those weeks, only one couple learned our names.  The rest smiled that little smile that told us, “I’m so glad you came, but I’m not really interested in you.”

4.  Become visitors for a day.  Those who have belonged to the same church for several years may not remember what being a visitor is like.  A simple exercise can resensitize you; visit a church where no one knows you.  Go outside your community, outside your denomination.  Go without knowing what to wear or what ministries are available.  Pay attention to how you’re received.

ADDENDUM:  

Dr. Thom Rainer has authored two books that deal with this important issue.  One book, titled Becoming a Welcoming Church, is intended to be studied by the church.  There are teaching plans and sermon outlines available that allow this to be a church wide emphasis.  The other book, We Want You Here, is designed to be a gift to be given to church guests.  Use the link below for more details.

THINGS YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ….

Become a Welcoming Church by using Dr. Rainer’s newest books - http://thomrainer.com/welcomingchurch/

Check out the new smallgroup.com - https://www.smallgroup.com/app/index.html#/home

Check out the new Ministry Grid - https://www.lifeway.com/en/special-emphasis/ministry-grid

FOR CHURCH CULTURE: The Gospel at the Center webcast, May 21 - http://live.gospelproject.com/

FOR WORSHIP MINISTRY: WorshipLife Conference 2018 in Gatlinburg, TN, June 25-29 - https://buff.ly/2GUGMXL

FOR LEADER TRAINING: Go Georgia, August 17 & 18, Mabel White Baptist Church/Macon - https://gabaptist.org/event/gogeorgia/

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Gospel Foundations, a one year journey through the Bible - https://www.gospelproject.com/gospel-foundations/

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: The Balanced Discipleship Plan: A Catalog of Studies to Develop Disciples - http://ministry-group.s3.amazonaws.com/groupministry/wp-content/uploads/sites/13/2017/05/74038_At_A_Glance_FINAL.pdf

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: To Have and to Hold: Preparing for a Godly Marriage by Byron & Carla Weathersbee - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/to-have-and-to-hold-leader-guide-P005791140

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: Mom Set Free by Jeannie Cunnion - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/mom-set-free-bible-study-book-P005720367

FOR WOMEN’S MINI STRY:  God of Creation by Jen Wilkin - https://www.lifeway.com/en/product-family/god-of-creation

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY:  No Other Gods by Kelly Minter - https://www.lifeway.com/en/product-family/living-room-series/no-other-gods?emid=BSI-NOG-01302018&ecid=167601647&bid=1331683113

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer - https://buff.ly/2EmRkwK

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: Just Open the Door by Jen Schmidt - https://www.lifeway.com/en/product/just-open-the-door-leader-kit-P005799558

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: Act Like Men by James McDonald - https://buff.ly/2sUeHwr

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: Kingdom Disciples by Tony Evans - https://buff.ly/2GlN9SW

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: The Main Event, Nashville, TN, August 10-11, 2018 - http://www.lifeway.com/Event/mens-event-the-main-event-2018-hendersonville-tn

FOR STUDENT MINISTRY: How to Develop a Guys Ministry - https://buff.ly/2orI3h0

FOR STUDENT MINISTRY: Seven Arrows: A 52 Week Devotional for Teens by Matt & Sarah Rogers - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/seven-arrows-P005799056

FOR STUDENT MINISTRY: Jesus Among Secular Gods by Ravi Zacharias and Vince Vitale – http://www.lifeway.com/Product/jesus-among-secular-gods-teen-bible-study-leader-kit-P005802017

FOR FAMILY MINISTRY: ETCH Conference - https://buff.ly/2EpxcKw

FOR KIDS MINISTRY: Christ-Centered Parenting by Russell Moore and Phillip Bethancourt - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/christ-centered-parenting-leader-kit-P005790852

FOR KIDS MINISTRY: TeamKID for Kids in Discipleship, a year’s curriculum for discipling kids - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/TeamKID?intcmp=LifewayKids-MTX-Image-TeamKid-20151001