by Paul Coughlin, author of No More Christian Nice Guy
1. Men are told over and over to be innocent as doves, but are not shown or encouraged to be wise as serpents. The same word for 'wise" that Jesus used can also be translated as shrewd and cunning.. The church wants nice men. Jesus, according to his own words, wants shrewd ones.
2. We preach from the NGB: Nice Guy Bible (Retail Price: Your Soul). We emphasize the sweet stuff and let the tougher stuff go right on by. For example, it was the book of Ecclesiastes that brought President Abraham Lincoln more solace during the Civil War than any other writing. Unfortunately the meatier and more penetrating scriptures aren't emphasized much today.
3. We contend that the ideal Christian man is unemotional and if married, sacrifices everything for his wife. According to the latest study from the University of Virginia, this false expectation toward stoicism sets men up for divorce from women who want an emotionally engaged husband And men who sacrifice all their wants and needs for their spouse eventually bore their spouse.
4. Men have been told to avoid anger at all costs, which isn't what the Bible says. They have not been shown a better way: how to properly handle this primary emotion for guys since unresolved anger can lead to depression, alcohol and drug abuse, and even impotency.
5. We promote a dangerous caricature of "gentle Jesus meek and mild," an infamous and ludicrous term penned by the late John Wesley. This dangerous caricature is as fictitious as anything you'll find in Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code. We can't blame Hollywood or the mainstream media.
6. Men, compared to women, are a problem to be fixed instead of a gender to be appreciated at church. This is mighty unattractive and unbiblical. Some of these churches have also given men the unbiblical belief that women are more moral and spiritual, an intrinsically shame-filled message that is also a form of gender bigotry.
7. The church and Christian radio have failed to support a married man's need for regular sexual intimacy with his wife, which is an insult and a betrayal. We are men, not eunuchs.
8. Christian men are unintentionally encouraged to become submissive to other men in a misguided attempt to bolster their "Christian witness." We have been turned into doormats and anvils, instead of bold hammers like the fathers of our faith. Proverbs 28:1 says that the righteous are as bold as lions. Bold men are both rare and not really welcomed at church.
9. We unintentionally create spiritual veal: overprotected children who are taught to embrace false humility and false meekness. Sons and daughters are not encouraged to possess a powerful opinion of themselves because they are deemed unChristian, which sets them up for destructive peer pressure. Sunday School too often creates nice and passive kids instead of good ones.
10. Worship music is often too sentimental for guy tastes. Too often we sing of love, forgiveness, and grace (and they are important) but we shy away from “Onward, Christian soldiers” and “Fight the Good Fight”.
SOME THINGS YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ......
FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: "Brave: Honest Questions Women Ask" by Angela Thomas, video preview - http://www.vimeo.com/17816397, product overview - http://www.lifeway.com/product/005342721/
FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: "Duty or Delight: Knowing Where You Stand with God" by Tammie Head. Product overview - http://www.Lifeway.com/tammiehead , video preview - http://www.vimeo.com/20378512
FOR FAMILY MINISTRY: "Life Lessons From Mayberry: It's All There in Black and White," a celebration of The Andy Griffith Show (Sept. 20-22 at Ridgecrest, N.C.) & the Biblical truths life applications found in the beloved TV classic. http://www.lifeway.com/
FOR DISCIPLESHIP MINISTRY: “Read the Bible for Life” - www.lifeway.com/
FOR SMALL GROUP MINISTRY: “The Gospel and The Truth: Living the Message of Jesus” - http://www.lifeway.com/product/005371684/
FOR SMALL GROUP MINISTRY: “The Ultimate Action Hero: Mission in the Book of Mark” - http://www.lifeway.com/product/005371691/
FOR EVANGELISM TRAINING: “Bridges: Christians Connecting with Muslims” - http://www.lifeway.com/product/005189799/
FOR SUNDAY SCHOOL LEADER TRAINING: ‘Transformational Class’ - http://www.lifeway.com/product/005371617/
