A Dad's Guide to Parenting

By David Thomas (courtesy of ParentLife magazine)

Many years ago, I read a book called The Middle Place by a woman named Kelly Corrigan. It was a beautiful narrative about a woman battling cancer alongside her father who'd been diagnosed with cancer as well. She talked throughout the book about her relationship with her father and in one section described him in this way:

"He makes me feel smart, funny, and beautiful, which has become the job of the few men who have loved me since. He told me once that I was a great talker. And so I was. I was a conversationalist, along with creative, a notion he put in my head when I was in grade school and used to make huge, intricate collages from his old magazines. He defined me first, as parents do. Those early characterizations can become the shimmering self-image we embrace or the limited, stifling perception we rail against for a lifetime. In my case, he sees me as I would like to be seen. In fact, I'm not even sure what's true about me, since I have always chosen to believe his version."

Kelly's father named her. This man understood that we, as men, hold the power to call out who God has uniquely made our children to be. We've been entrusted with this powerful gift of naming. This gift was given to the first man. We're told in Genesis that God told Adam to name the first living creatures and that whatever he chose to call them, it would forever be that. That gift of naming continues to be ours as fathers. Men, we must steward this gift with the kind of reverence it deserves. It's too much power to be handled recklessly or carelessly.

We are naming our children every day when we simply enjoy them. We dads have a tendency to slip into the role of coach easily. We start instructing, correcting, critiquing, and get over-focused on our children's performance. We lose sight of the importance of just spending time with our kids, enjoying who they are, and discovering what they love.

This happens when we ask our daughters to join us in a run or walk the family dog and ask great questions. This happens with our sons when we invite them to shoot hoops in the driveway with no agenda, not commenting on their lay-up, but just hanging out. This happens when we volunteer with our kids and point out evidence of where we see empathy, compassion, and generosity in their lives. This happens when we wake up on a Saturday morning to make pancakes. We ask questions about their week, their friends, their hurts, and their victories.

Discovering their individual passions and interests is vital. We have to invest in the things they love. When my daughter was young, I attended a number of tea parties with her American Girl dolls. I even wore a blazer to the dress-up occasions. With one of my sons, I built countless Lego planes and helicopters. With another son, we watched movies together and had great conversations afterwards. It's different for every child but play is the entryway to connection with young children.

It looked different according to their gender. I spent countless hours at a local coffee house reading chapter books with my daughter, eating chocolate chip cookies, and talking. With my sons, it was rarely ever seated with them, but while in motion. Boys talk best around a task — building something together, creating something together, or engaging in something physical.

Studying their individual passions and interests, and meeting them in that place, is such a reflection of how God the Father approaches each of us. He knows every hair on my head and is intimately acquainted with my needs and desires. He doesn't see me as one of the many, but as an individual child. We have the opportunity to parent in the same way.

Top five things to know about your son

1. He wants to be enjoyed for who he is.
2. Conversations about important things happen best around a task.
3. He needs you to initiate him into manhood.
4. He's paying attention to you even when it appears he isn't.
5. He loves to spend time with you one-on-one.

 

Top five things to know about your daughter

1. She wants to be enjoyed for who she is.
2. Your words have tremendous power in her life.
3. She's paying close attention to how you treat her mother.
4. You are the most important man in her life.
5. You shape her ideas about who God is as a father through your life.

THINGS YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ….

FOR BIBLE STUDY:  2015 January Bible Study: Deuteronomy, A Challenge to a New Generation  - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/January-Bible-Study?intcmp=jbs-erdr-314

FOR LEADER DEVELOPMENT: Ministry Grid - http://www.ministrygrid.com/?emid=PD-BSI-MinistryGrid-20131008

FOR KIDS MINISTRY: Explore the Bible for Kids leads babies through pre-teens to dig deep into the Bible – http://www.lifeway.com/Explore-the-Bible/c/N-1z13wmcZ1z0zrd0

FOR KIDS MINISTRY: Worship for Life: Kids, a large group, media-driven, interactive worship experience for kids. - http://www.lifeway.com/Keyword/worship+for+life

FOR KIDS MINISTRY: ZIP for Kids - http://www.zipforkids.com/

FOR STUDENT MINISTRY: Explore the Bible for Students, designed to equip students to become students of the Bible, one book at a time - http://www.lifeway.com/Explore-the-Bible/c/N-1z13wmcZ1z0zrcv

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: The Family of Jesus by Karen Kingsbury (available in July) - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/the-family-of-jesus-bible-study-leader-kit-P005679770

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: Sermon on the Mount by Jen Wilkin (available in July) - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/the-sermon-on-the-mount-leader-kit-p005644877

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: Children of the Day by Beth Moore - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Children-of-the-Day?emid=PD-Product-BSI-ChildrenoftheDayhero-20140424

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: Priscilla Shirer Live at Warner Robins, GA, August 22-23 - http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Womens-Event-Priscilla-Shirer-Live-2014-Warner-Robins-GA?intcmp=PriscillaShirerLive-MTX-Button-WarnerRobins-20130731

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY:  Living Proof Live Simulcast with Beth Moore, September 13th, host it or attend - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Living-Proof-Live-Simulcast?type=events&intcmp=LivingProofLiveSearch-MTX-Button-Simulcast-20130204

FOR SENIOR ADULTS: Fall Celebration at Ridgecrest, NC, October 14-17 – http://www.lifeway.com/n/Adults/Senior-Adults?type=events&intcmp=SRAdultsSpec-MTX-Text-Events-20140417

FOR SENIOR ADULTS: Christmas Celebration at Branson, MO, November 11-13 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Adults/Senior-Adults?type=events&intcmp=SRAdultsSpec-MTX-Text-Events-20140417

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: Main Event 2014, August 1-2, 2014 featuring former President George W. Bush, - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/The-Main-Event?type=events&intcmp=MensEvents-MTX-Text-TheMainEvent-20130815

FOR ADULT BIBLE STUDY: Explore the Bible with coming enhancements - http://www.lifeway.com/Explore-the-Bible/c/N-1z0zrd1Z1z13wmc?EMID=rpoinde-Email-ETB-20140513

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Developing a Culture for Discipleship by Dino Senesi (Ministry Grid) – http://www.ministrygrid.com/web/guest/training-viewer/-/training/a-discipleship-coaching-culture

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Overcome: Living Beyond Your Circumstances by Alex Himaya - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Bible-Studies-for-Life-Small-Group-Studies/overcome?intcmp=BSFLSmallGroups-MTX-Text-Overcome-LearnMore-20140530

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Recovering Redemption by Matt Chandler - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/recovering-redemption-leader-kit-P005644109

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: TGP-Kingdom Come by Halim Suh & Jason Dukes, a study of the Kingdom of Christ - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/the-gospel-project-kingdom-come-P005695953?intcmp=TGPShortTermAdults-MTX-Tiled-KingdomCome-20140411

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Hebrews, part 1 & 2 - http://www.lifeway.com/Explore-the-Bible/Topical-Studies/c/N-1z0zrd1Z1z13wmcZ1z1058r

Six Ways to Build Relationships through VBS

Vacation Bible School is right around the corner for many of our churches. This article by Mary Carlisle gets some great pointers on maximizing our opportunity to reach children and their families.

(And, BTW, these tips are great for EVERY leader!)

VBS is an unbelievable opportunity for adult leaders to build discipleship relationships. There may be kids who come to VBS that you have never had in your church group before, and building relationships with those kids is of utmost importance so that they feel comfortable and want to come back and continue learning about God long after VBS.

As you train your teachers and helpers, communicate the importance of connecting with kids by giving them these 6 ways to begin building relationships:

Find common interests. Ask kids what they are interested in and build a relationship around the things you have in common. Ask kids what they love about those interests, what is hardest, or what has been their biggest success.

Ask kids about their family and their home life. You will be amazed how much you can learn simply by asking kids what they like to do when they are at home or what their families are like. Use these as jumping off points to develop relationships that will point kids to Jesus.

Talk with them as you walk to and from rotation sites. Every moment is a teachable moment and a moment that can be used to point kids to Jesus.

Make connections to the Bible content and applications to life with each activity, game, snack, and craft. Discuss with kids how the content applies to their lives specifically. Ask questions and be flexible and discerning as kids may lead the conversation somewhere you hadn’t planned to go, but that they need to hear. Asking questions instead of simply stating the connection helps kids process the application and helps you begin a discipleship relationship with them as they realize that you really care and want to help them understand.

Be available. Tell kids frequently that they can talk to you and ask questions. Explain that you can answer questions to and from rotations or another time during the week. Make sure that you train helpers and teachers to always be in sight of another helper or teacher when talking one-on-one with a child. Invest in kids by going out of your way to answer questions and get to know them.

Connect with their parents. Learn more about each child that you are coming in contact with during VBS by touching base with their parent. It’s always a good idea to ask what the child gets most excited about so that you have a great jumping off point the next day!

THINGS YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ….

FOR BIBLE STUDY MINISTRY: Explore the Bible Preview Events:  Bring your leaders to learn about the coming enhancements with the Adult material and expansion to Kids and Students at one of these locations –

-          On May 15^th, 7:00-8:30pm = Sugar Hill Church, 5091 Nelson Brogdon Blvd., Sugar Hill, GA - https://custom.cvent.com/5B75F4B8DABA4F78B2B22496D92FA25F/files/da38e3e34dc74433bdcb136cdf34606a.pdf

-          On May 29^th, 7:00-8:30pm = Tabernacle Baptist Church, 112 E. Church St., Cartersville, GA - https://custom.cvent.com/5B75F4B8DABA4F78B2B22496D92FA25F/files/092508d7276d49cabbf502a269b75bae.pdf

FOR CHURCH WIDE MINISTRY: “Son of God” small group Bible study resource - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Son-of-God

FOR CHURCH WIDE MINISTRY: Movie “Mom’s Night Out” - http://www.momsnightoutmovie.com/

FOR LEADER DEVELOPMENT: Ministry Grid - http://www.ministrygrid.com/?emid=PD-BSI-MinistryGrid-20131008

FOR KIDS MINISTRY:  VBS ‘Takin’ It Home’ CD packs = take a CD home each day that contains summary of the day’s study and music - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/vbs-2014-takin-it-home-cd-pkg-of-10-P005640003

FOR KIDS MINISTRY: ZIP for Kids - http://www.zipforkids.com/

FOR STUDENT MINISTRY:  Essential Connection app for iPhone - https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/essential-connection-devotions/id681995966?mt=8

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: Children of the Day by Beth Moore - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Children-of-the-Day?emid=PD-Product-BSI-ChildrenoftheDayhero-20140424

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: Priscilla Shirer Live at Warner Robins, GA, August 22-23 - http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Womens-Event-Priscilla-Shirer-Live-2014-Warner-Robins-GA?intcmp=PriscillaShirerLive-MTX-Button-WarnerRobins-20130731

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY:  Living Proof Live Simulcast with Beth Moore, September 13th, host it or attend - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Living-Proof-Live-Simulcast?type=events&intcmp=LivingProofLiveSearch-MTX-Button-Simulcast-20130204

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: Main Event 2014, August 1-2, 2014 featuring former President George W. Bush, - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/The-Main-Event?type=events&intcmp=MensEvents-MTX-Text-TheMainEvent-20130815

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Recovering Redemption by Matt Chandler - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/recovering-redemption-leader-kit-P005644109

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: TGP-God in Our Relationships by Rey De Armas – a study of the Ten Commandments - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/the-gospel-project-god-in-our-relationships-P005688370

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: TGP-God First by Matt Chandler & Trevin Wax – a study of how we are to relate to God - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/the-gospel-project-god-in-our-relationships-P005688370

Seven Ways to Help New Members Stick

by Dr. Thom Rainer (from his website)

Very few church leaders need to be convinced that assimilation is important. And very few church leaders need to be convinced that some upfront mechanism, like a new members’ class, is important. The question I am asked frequently is: “What are the best practices for this upfront orientation or new members’ class?”
I have the advantage of research, input, anecdotal information, and ongoing conversations with church leaders. From these sources, I have derived seven ways to help new members stick. Obviously, my list is not exhaustive, but I do think it represents some of the best practices I see in churches today.

1. Keep the initial orientation brief. Some churches have new members’ classes that last multiple hours over multiple days. These orientations are counterproductive. They engender information overload and have little impact. If there is much information you need to share, do so over a longer period of time, but not in the initial new members’ class. The new members’ class works best if it is two to three hours in one setting.
2. Tell them what the church believes. These new and prospective members must know the key beliefs or doctrines of the church. Don’t let them be surprised later. Such could prove messy for the members and the church as a whole.
3. Explain to them the church’s polity. Polity is the organizational and authority systems of the church. Many new members assume the church they are joining makes decisions like churches where they have been in the past. Such assumptions can cause problems later.
4. Share with them what is expected of them. Too many churches are shy about sharing expectations with members. But clear expectations lead to both happier and healthier members. I was recently with some church leaders who told me they were very explicit about four minimal expectations of members: they should attend weekly worship services; they should get in a small group; they should be involved in at least one church ministry a year; and they should be faithful financial givers to the church.
5. Let them know how they can plug in. Don’t merely let them know what is expected of them; share with them the specifics of how they can carry out the expectations. For example, if the church expects them to be in a small group or Sunday school class (a key to assimilation health), give them clear and detailed information on who to contact, where and when the group meets, and when they should get started.
6. Orient them about the church’s facilities. I know it’s basic, but it’s important for members to understand the details of the church’s facilities, even in smaller churches. When are the offices open? Who can use certain parts of the church buildings? Where are the nursery or preschool areas? Where are the restrooms?
7. Have someone stay in contact with them for six months. You will typically retain or lose members in this time frame. Have well-trained members checking with the new members. It may be a simple call or an email once a week. It does not have to be overbearing. The veteran member can ask if they are orienting well, if they have found a small group, or if they have questions.

The reality of assimilation, or new member stickiness, is that it is usually effective or ineffective in the first few months. Some churches err with too much upfront and drive new members away with information overload and lengthy classes and inventories. Others churches err by doing too little. But the most effective churches tend to shape their strategies on these seven simple efforts.

THINGS YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ….

FOR CHURCH WIDE MINISTRY: “Son of God” small group Bible study resource - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Son-of-God

FOR CHURCH WIDE MINISTRY: Movie “Mom’s Night Out” - http://www.momsnightoutmovie.com/

FOR LEADER DEVELOPMENT: Ministry Grid - http://www.ministrygrid.com/?emid=PD-BSI-MinistryGrid-20131008

FOR BIBLE STUDY MINISTRY: Explore the Bible curriculum to be provided for Kids, Students, Young Adults, and Adults - http://www.lifeway.com/n/product-family/explore-the-bible/

FOR KIDS MINISTRY:  CentriKid summer camp locations - http://centrikid.com/find-a-camp/by-location/#.UxfmoIUjTGY

FOR KIDS MINISTRY: ZIP for Kids for a customized multi-track kids event - http://www.zipforkids.com/

FOR STUDENT MINISTRY: 4 choices for summer camps for students - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Students/Camps?type=events

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: Priscilla Shirer Live at Warner Robins, GA, August 22-23 - http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Womens-Event-Priscilla-Shirer-Live-2014-Warner-Robins-GA?intcmp=PriscillaShirerLive-MTX-Button-WarnerRobins-20130731

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY:  Living Proof Live Simulcast with Beth Moore, September 13th, host it or attend - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Living-Proof-Live-Simulcast?type=events&intcmp=LivingProofLiveSearch-MTX-Button-Simulcast-20130204

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: “The Real Win: Pursuing God’s Plan for Authentic Success” by Colt McCoy - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/the-real-win-pursuing-gods-plan-for-authentic-success-member-book-P005558786

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: Main Event 2014, August 1-2, 2014 featuring former President George W. Bush, - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/The-Main-Event?type=events&intcmp=MensEvents-MTX-Text-TheMainEvent-20130815

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: TGP-God in Our Relationships by Rey De Armas – a study of the Ten Commandments - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/the-gospel-project-god-in-our-relationships-P005688370

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: TGP-God First by Matt Chandler & Trevin Wax – a study of how we are to relate to God - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/the-gospel-project-god-in-our-relationships-P005688370

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: ‘Connected: My Life in the Church’ by Thom Rainer (a great follow up to I Am a Church Member) - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/bible-studies-for-life-connected-my-life-in-the-church-group-leader-kit-P005672341

The Art of Assimilation

Of those people who join a church and then become inactive, 70%-75% drop out in their first year.  If a newcomer makes it through the first crucial twelve months, the chances of him/her remaining active increase significantly.  Therefore it is vital to know why new members stay (or leave) in that first year.  

The Church Growth Group conducted a survey of people who have recently joined a church; some who stayed, some who didn't.  From these interviews, a fascinating pattern was discovered.  There are three times in the first at which people tend to leave.

 The first spike comes within the first few months.  Those that leave are usually new Christians and the cause is traced back to the process of evangelism.  These drop-outs often feel they were manipulated into a decision or “sold” a false bill of goods.

The second period of drop-out occurs within the 5^th to 7^th month after joining.  This group did not get a satisfactory answer to one or more of these questions:

·   “Can I develop friends in this church?”

·   “Where do I fit in?”

·   “Am I needed?”

The third point at which a large number of people become inactive (though a smaller percentage) is at the 11^th-13^th month.  The question has changed slightly, but significantly:

·   “Are my new friends as good as my old friends?”

·   “Does the group meet my needs?”

·   “Is my contribution valued?”

You’ll notice that the questions the people are asking are not theological, eschatological, liturgical, or even musical, it’s relational!

To put another light on this important issue, we must address the three “senses” of assimilation of a new member:

1.  The sense of well being.  Are they growing spiritually? Are they faithful in attendance? 

2. The sense of ownership.  Do they identify with the church’s goals?  Do they have a role or responsibility to carry out?  Do they support the church financially?

3. A sense of connectedness.  Do they have new friends in the church?  Are they involved in the fellowship of the class?

As we answer the previous questions of new members in a positive way, they will become fully assimilated into our church body.  Our front door of the church will be swung wide open for new members and our backdoor will rust on its hinges.

THINGS YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ….

FOR CHURCH WIDE MINISTRY: Movie “Son of God” and corresponding small group Bible study resources - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Son-of-God

FOR CHURCH WIDE MINISTRY: Movie “God’s Not Dead” - http://www.lifeway.com/n/product-family/god%27s-not-dead

FOR CHURCH WIDE MINISTRY: Movie “Mom’s Night Out” - http://www.momsnightoutmovie.com/

FOR LEADER DEVELOPMENT: Ministry Grid - http://www.ministrygrid.com/?emid=PD-BSI-MinistryGrid-20131008

FOR KIDS MINISTRY:  CentriKid summer camp locations - http://centrikid.com/find-a-camp/by-location/#.UxfmoIUjTGY

FOR KIDS MINISTRY: ZIP for Kids - http://www.zipforkids.com/

FOR STUDENT MINISTRY LEADERS: Youth Pastor Summit, a FREE leadership conference in Orlando, March 31-April 1 - http://www.slulead.com/Orlando-FL

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: Priscilla Shirer Live Simulcast, April 5^th, host it or attend - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Priscilla-Shirer-Live-Simulcast?type=events&intcmp=PriscillaShirerLiveSearch-MTX-Banner-Simulcast-20131219

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: Priscilla Shirer Live at Warner Robins, GA, August 22-23 - http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Womens-Event-Priscilla-Shirer-Live-2014-Warner-Robins-GA?intcmp=PriscillaShirerLive-MTX-Button-WarnerRobins-20130731

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: ‘Hebrews’ by Lisa Harper - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/hebrews-the-nearness-of-king-jesus-leader-kit-P005592097

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: “The Real Win: Pursuing God’s Plan for Authentic Success” by Colt McCoy - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/the-real-win-pursuing-gods-plan-for-authentic-success-member-book-P005558786

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: “Samson: A Life Well Wasted” by Chip Henderson - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/samson-a-life-well-wasted-leader-kit-P005474751

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: Main Event 2014, August 1-2, 2014 featuring former President George W. Bush, - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/The-Main-Event?type=events&intcmp=MensEvents-MTX-Text-TheMainEvent-20130815

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: ‘Resilient Faith: Standing Strong in the Midst of Suffering’ by Mary Jo Sharp - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Bible-Studies-for-Life-Small-Group-Studies/Resilient-Faith?intcmp=BSFLSmallGroups-MTX-Text-Resilient-LearnMore-20140102

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: ‘Beyond Belief: Exploring the Character of God’ by Freddy Cardoza - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Bible-Studies-for-Life-Small-Group-Studies/beyond-belief?intcmp=BSFLSmallGroups-MTX-Text-Belief-LearnMore-20140228

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: ‘The Power of God’s Names’ by Tony Evans - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/The-Power-of-God%27s-Names?emid=PD-Product-BSI-PoGN-20140121

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: ‘What Are You Afraid of?’ by Dr. David Jeremiah - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/What-Are-You-Afraid-Of?emid=PD-Product-BSI-WAYAO-20131217

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: ‘Connected: My Life in the Church’ by Thom Rainer (a great follow up to I Am a Church Member) - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/bible-studies-for-life-connected-my-life-in-the-church-group-leader-kit-P005672341

How People Grow .... in Groups

If you haven’t heard of this already, 2014 is the year of saying “Groups Matter”. In saying that you are stating your belief that people grow in discipleship through their involvement in small groups and a church will grow as they create more small groups. Follow this link for more information on this:  "Groups Matters"   (http://www.groupsmatter.com/)


I’m copied a recent blog by Eric Geiger that addresses the importance of growth in groups.

In Transformational Discipleship, we unpacked the important relationship between truth, posture, and leaders. God brings about transformation as godly leaders apply the truth to our hearts while we are in a teachable posture.

Truth:

The Lord transforms us, sanctifies us, through His truth—and His Word is truth (John 17:17). The truth of the gospel and the truth of God’s Word has the power to change us and mold us into the image of His Son.

Posture:

God puts us in a teachable and moldable posture to receive His truth. For example, He will use trials, spiritual disciplines, and biblical community to soften our hearts toward His truth. If you are a preacher or teacher, you have surely observed the importance of a teachable posture as you have preached or taught the same message to a group of people, and some have been impacted while some have been hardened. The message and the messenger are the same, but the posture of each person is different.

Leaders:

God uses leaders to apply grace to our hearts. Each person in the body is given the opportunity to administer grace, in a variety of forms (1 Peter 4:10). Because of this truth, pastors and teachers are wise to equip all of God’s people for ministry (Ephesians 4:11-13) so that more people can encounter His grace through more leaders.

As a follow-up to Transformational Discipleship, Ed Stetzer and I wrote Transformational Groups  (http://www.lifeway.com/Product/transformational-groups-P005617192) based on a large research study on small groups and how people grow in biblical community. After analyzing the research, we can confidently say “your groups matter a lot.” From a research lens, people in small groups pray and confess their sins more regularly, share the gospel more confidently, give more generously, and serve more sacrificially than those not in a small group.

We see a deep connection between groups and discipleship. Based on the learning in both research projects and based on our understanding of discipleship and how critical groups are to the health of a church, we believe in these three imperatives for church leaders (notice the connection between these imperatives and the importance of truth, posture, and leaders):

1)    Develop your leaders (leaders)

Leaders will reproduce who they are. The faith is often more caught than taught, so the leaders a church puts in their group environments will greatly determine the health of the groups. Leaders must be encouraged and developed. They must be trained and equipped.

2)    Launch new groups (posture)

Biblical community is essential for spiritual growth as it puts people in a posture to receive encouragement and to walk together with others. Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote:

Sin demands to have a man by himself. It withdraws him from the community. The more isolated a person is, the more destructive will be the power of sin over him, and the more deeply he becomes involved in it, the more disastrous is his isolation.

If a church is not launching new groups, the church is not giving new people and unconnected people a clear opportunity to live in Christian community. Launch new groups so that more people can experience the beauty and joy of a connected and interdependent posture.

3)    Feed your people (truth)

Connecting people together is not sufficient for transformation. They must be connected together in truth. God desires His people to be both unified and sanctified, and community that is formed on the foundation of God’s Word accomplishes both. 

Don’t just launch groups—launch groups that are built on a wise plan for discipleship. 

Don’t just promote community—ensure your community is grounded in Scripture.

THINGS YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ….

FOR CHURCH WIDE MINISTRY: Movie “Son of God” and corresponding small group Bible study resources - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Son-of-God

FOR CHURCH WIDE MINISTRY: Movie “God’s Not Dead” - http://www.lifeway.com/n/product-family/god%27s-not-dead

FOR CHURCH WIDE MINISTRY: Movie “Mom’s Night Out” - http://www.momsnightoutmovie.com/

FOR ONGOING BIBLE STUDY: Explore the Bible, spring quarter, Psalms & Song of Solomon - http://www.lifeway.com/Explore-the-Bible/Spring-2014/c/N-1z13wmcZ1z104eg?intcmp=SundaySchool-MTX-Text-ETBSprTopic-20140115

FOR ONGOING BIBLE STUDY: Bible Studies for Life, spring quarter, “Let Hope In” and “Productive” - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/bible-studies-for-life-adult-leader-pack-spring-2014-P005562231-2014-SPR

FOR ONGOING BIBLE STUDY: The Gospel Project, spring quarter, “The Atonement Thread” - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/the-gospel-project-for-adults-leader-guide-spring-2014-m00050115

FOR ONGOING BIBLE STUDY: MasterWork, spring quarter, “The Passion of Christ and the Purpose of Life” by Adrian Rogers and “Gospel” by J.D. Greear - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/MASTERWORK-ESSENTIAL-MESSAGES-FROM-GODS-SERVANTS-SPRING-2014-P005075042-2014-SPR

FOR EVANGELISM TRAINING: “Engage: A Practical Guide for Evangelism” - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/engage-a-practical-guide-to-evangelism-member-book-P005560882#product_specifications

FOR LEADER DEVELOPMENT: Ministry Grid - http://www.ministrygrid.com/?emid=PD-BSI-MinistryGrid-20131008

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: “The Power of God’s Names” by Tony Evans - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/The-Power-of-God%27s-Names?emid=PD-Product-BSI-PoGN-20140121

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: What Are You Afraid of? by Dr. David Jeremiah - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/What-Are-You-Afraid-Of?emid=PD-Product-BSI-WAYAO-20131217

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: “Connected: My Life in the Church” by Thom Rainer (a great follow up to I Am a Church Member) - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/bible-studies-for-life-connected-my-life-in-the-church-group-leader-kit-P005672341

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: “Gray Areas: Finding Truth When Life Isn’t Black & White” by Mike Glenn - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Gray-Areas:-Finding-Truth-When-Life-Isn%27t-Black-and-White

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: “Hebrews” by Lisa Harper - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/hebrews-the-nearness-of-king-jesus-leader-kit-P005592097

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: “The Real Win: Pursuing God’s Plan for Authentic Success” by Colt McCoy - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/the-real-win-pursuing-gods-plan-for-authentic-success-member-book-P005558786

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: “Samson: A Life Well Wasted” by Chip Henderson - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/samson-a-life-well-wasted-leader-kit-P005474751

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: Main Event 2014, August 1-2, 2014 featuring former President George W. Bush, $69 registration limited time offer - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/The-Main-Event?type=events&intcmp=MensEvents-MTX-Text-TheMainEvent-20130815

Leadership and Language

by Eric Geiger (from his blog ericgeiger.com)

Wise leaders understand the importance of words. They grasp the importance of language in describing the culture of the organization and the direction she is headed. But the role of a leader in relationship to language does not end when the doctrinal statement is finalized. It does not end when the mission and values are clarified, placed on a wall, and boldly declared. Leaders must continually remind people of the meaning behind the words, behind the language that is essential to the organization. The important words need definition and repetition.

• Words need definition

Words must constantly be defined, or the words will lose their original intent and begin to mean different things to different people. Language drift often occurs as people in an organization learn the desired or accepted organizational vocabulary and use those words as taglines in an attempt to give credence to just about anything.

For example, if “community” is the current focus for a local congregation, a leader can add “community” language to any initiative or event to give it credence. Similarly, if “customer-centric” or “narrowing the focus” are the latest buzzwords in an organization, folks can start to haphazardly use these words without understanding the intent and heartbeat behind them. Pretty soon, the words carry an array of definitions and lose their singularity and potency.

Unless there is constant definition of what the important culture-shaping words mean, there will not be alignment. In fact, if the important words are allowed to mean a plethora of things, if leaders don’t constantly define the words that are used, the language will only create confusion and a plethora of directions.

If you are a leader, it is important to define the important terms/words in the organization you are leading. If you hear words that are important in your culture being used in a way that does not match the original intent, some definition is necessary.

• Words need repetition

Some leaders run from repetition for the desire to always say something new and fresh. But wise leaders understand, as Max De Pree said, “Leadership is like third grade: it means repeating the significant things.” For example—because the gospel is the principle and essential doctrine of the Christian faith, Martin Luther stated “most necessary is it that we know this article [the gospel] well, teach it to others, and beat it into their heads continually.” Luther was clearly passionate about repeating the most important message continually.

When it comes to articulating a direction, I have learned that when the leaders are sick and tired of presenting and discussing, people are just then starting to grasp it. Both definition and repetition are necessary.

THINGS YOU MAY FIND INTERESTING ....

FOR BIBLE STUDY: GROUPS MATTER: Taking the Challenge - http://groupsmatter-crd-wpengine-com.crd.staging.wpengine.com/

FOR BIBLE STUDY: Creating a Climate for a New Group - http://groupsmatter-crd-wpengine-com.crd.staging.wpengine.com/

FOR BIBLE STUDY: January (or Annual) Bible Study: Colossians;  Christ is All You Need - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/January-Bible-Study

FOR LEADER DEVELOPMENT: Ministry Grid - http://www.ministrygrid.com/?emid=PD-BSI-MinistryGrid-20131008

FOR MARRIAGE ENRICHMENT: Marriage Getaway, Destin, FL, February 14-16, 2014 - http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Adult-Event-Marriage-Getaways-Destin-FL?intcmp=LWMain-Event2-MarriageGetawayDestin-20131104

FOR VBS 2014: Agency D3 Preview Events locations - http://blog.lifeway.com/vbs2014v2/events/preview/

FOR VBS 2014: Georgia Jumpstarts and Clinic sites - http://gabaptistsundayschool.org/leadership/vbs-leadership/

FOR COLLEGIATE MINISTRY: 2014 Beach Reach - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/BeachReach?type=events&intcmp=BeachReachSearch-MTX-Button-Details-20130718

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: What Are You Afraid of? by Dr. David Jeremiah - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/What-Are-You-Afraid-Of?emid=PD-Product-BSI-WAYAO-20131217

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Connected: My Life in the Church by Thom Rainer (a great follow up to I Am a Church Member) - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/bible-studies-for-life-connected-my-life-in-the-church-group-leader-kit-P005672341

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Gray Areas: Finding Truth When Life Isn’t Black & White by Mike Glenn - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Gray-Areas:-Finding-Truth-When-Life-Isn%27t-Black-and-White

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: Hebrews by Lisa Harper - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/hebrews-the-nearness-of-king-jesus-leader-kit-P005592097

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: Main Event 2014, August 1-2, 2014 featuring former President George W. Bush, $49 registration limited time offer - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/The-Main-Event?type=events&intcmp=MensEvents-MTX-Text-TheMainEvent-20130815

10 Benefits from a Thriving Small Group Ministry

I've copied a great article by Mark Howell from his blog (markhowelllive.com) about benefits from a thriving small group ministry. If your church is built upon Sunday morning Bible study groups, most of these benefits still apply. A growing number of churches I speak to are examining the possibility of providing dual tracks of Bible study (Sunday morning plus off campus). These benefits may help you in your decision making.

1.       Life-change happens best in small groups. You might have a killer weekend worship service with powerful teaching and inspiring worship, but you still need to know that “the optimal environment for life-change is a small group” because life-change happens best in circles, not rows.

2.       Small groups make churches personal.  Whether your church averages 150 or 1500, if I can slip into a back row and then leave without sharing life with a person…your church is too large to not incorporate a small group experience.  Yes, it’s still true that a certain kind of person or a particular stage in life makes a toe-in-the-water easier when you can be anonymous.  But the research is in.  The desire to find a few good friends is on the rise and loneliness is increasing.  

3.       Small groups provide a nearly unlimited leadership development pipeline.  What if I told you that your congregation and the crowd that joins you on special days like Easter or Christmas Eve is full of potential leaders?  In my experience, the same churches that tell me they’ve been praying for God to send workers for the harvest really just haven’t learned how to identify the  leaders God has already sent!  

4.       Off-campus small groups provide nearly unlimited space at optimum times.  Can’t afford to build?  Need to reach a much larger community than you could ever fit on campus at one time.  Homes, apartments, and coffee shops offer the space you need to have more adults in small groups than you have in your weekend services.  

5.        “Come over to my house” is a much easier invitation than “come with me to church.”   Off-campus small groups become increasingly more important as the transition to a post-Christian culture accelerates.  While there certainly was a time when an invitation to “come with me to church” was welcomed and even expected…those days are gone.  What remains?  ”Come over.”

6.       Small groups provide the best opportunity for one-anothering.  If you want to be known for the way you love one another…you need to emphasize being part of a small group.  The idea that I can receive or give the kind of personal care commanded in the one-anothers while isolating myself from others isn’t anchored in reality.  

7.        Small groups can provide a sense of family for many whose biological family lives far away.  Unlike generations past, it is increasingly more common for adults to find themselves living far away from their biological family.  Add the growing number of broken homes and dysfunctional families and you have a snapshot of the 21st century.  A small group, the right kind of small group experience can play a role in providing a sense of family.  

8.        I can ask questions in a small group.  Dialogue is one of the key ingredients of life-change.  If every spiritual experience I have is about listening, if it’s all about one-way communication…I’m going to miss one of the most important developmental aspects of a growing faith.  

9.        Small groups make it possible for more people to be cared for between Sundays.  Genuine care is demonstrated when my needs are known without a call to the church office.  A network of small groups provides the delivery system for that kind of care.  

10.    Small groups provide an ever expanding network for communication and impact.  This is a huge benefit!  There is a vast difference in the response to an announcement from the platform and a personal invitation.  When this network for communication and impact is activated, reach becomes exponential.

THINGS YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ….

FOR EDUCATION STAFF: 2014 GBACE Conference: Expanding Your Reach, staying connected in a changing culture - http://www.gbace.org/

FOR LEADER DEVELOPMENT: Ministry Grid - http://www.ministrygrid.com/?emid=PD-BSI-MinistryGrid-20131008

FOR MARRIAGE ENRICHMENT: Marriage Getaway, Destin, FL, February 14-16, 2014 - http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Adult-Event-Marriage-Getaways-Destin-FL?intcmp=LWMain-Event2-MarriageGetawayDestin-20131104

FOR VBS 2014: Agency D3 Preview Events locations - http://blog.lifeway.com/vbs2014v2/events/preview/

FOR VBS 2014: Georgia Jumpstarts and Clinic sites - http://gabaptistsundayschool.org/leadership/vbs-leadership/

FOR COLLEGIATE MINISTRY: 2014 Beach Reach - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/BeachReach?type=events&intcmp=BeachReachSearch-MTX-Button-Details-20130718

FOR STUDENT MINISTRY: Firsthand Faith by Ryan & Josh Shook - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/firsthand-faith-discovering-a-faith-of-your-own-leader-kit-P005559310

FOR STUDENT MINISTRY: D’Now resources - http://www.lifeway.com/n/merchandised-landing-page/DiscipleNow?intcmp=LifeWayStudents-MTX-Text-Dnow-20120906

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Connected: My Life in the Church by Thom Rainer (a great follow up to I Am a Church Member) - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/bible-studies-for-life-connected-my-life-in-the-church-group-leader-kit-P005672341

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Kingdom Agenda by Tony Evans - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/kingdom-agenda-living-life-gods-way-leader-kit-P005558791

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Honest to God by Robert Jeffress - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/bible-studies-for-life-honest-to-god-leader-kit-P005602631

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Let Hope In by Pete Wilson - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/bible-studies-for-life-let-hope-in-leader-kit-P005602635

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: Ever After by Vicki Courtney - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Ever-After

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: Sacred Secrets by Beth Moore - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/sacred-secrets-a-living-proof-live-experience-small-group-kit-P005474739

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: Devotions for Men, audio CD - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/devotions-for-men-audio-cds-P005632528?emid=PD-BSI-DevotionsforMen-20131022

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: Main Event 2014, August 1-2, 2014 featuring former President George W. Bush, $49 registration limited time offer - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/The-Main-Event?type=events&intcmp=MensEvents-MTX-Text-TheMainEvent-20130815