The 10 Warning Signs of an Inwardly Obsessed Church

from Thom Rainer's blog

Any healthy church must have some level of inward focus. Those in the church should be discipled. Hurting members need genuine concern and ministry. Healthy fellowship among the members is a good sign for a congregation.

But churches can lose their outward focus and become preoccupied with the perceived needs and desires of the members. The dollars spent and the time expended can quickly become focused on the demands of those inside the congregation. When that takes place the church has become inwardly obsessed. It is no longer a Great Commission congregation.

In my research of churches and consultation with churches, I have kept a checklist of potential signs that a church might be moving toward inward obsession. No church is perfect; indeed most churches will demonstrate one or two of these signs for a season. But the real danger takes place when a church begins to manifest three or more of these warning signs for an extended period of months and even years.

1. Worship wars. One or more factions in the church want the music just the way they like it. Any deviation is met with anger and demands for change. The order of service must remain constant. Certain instrumentation is required while others are prohibited.

2. Prolonged minutia meetings. The church spends an inordinate amount of time in different meetings. Most of the meetings deal with the most inconsequential items, while the Great Commission and Great Commandment are rarely the topics of discussion.

3. Facility focus. The church facilities develop iconic status. One of the highest priorities in the church is the protection and preservation of rooms, furniture, and other visible parts of the church's buildings and grounds.

4. Program-driven. Every church has programs even if they don't admit it. When we start doing a ministry a certain way, it takes on programmatic status. The problem is not with programs. The problem develops when the program becomes an end instead of a means to greater ministry.

5. Inwardly focused budget. A disproportionate share of the budget is used to meet the needs and comforts of the members instead of reaching beyond the walls of the church.

6. Inordinate demands for pastoral care. All church members deserve care and concern, especially in times of need and crisis. Problems develop, however, when church members have unreasonable expectations for even minor matters. Some members expect the pastoral staff to visit them regularly merely because they have membership status.

7. Attitudes of entitlement. This issue could be a catch-all for many of the points named here. The overarching attitude is one of demanding and having a sense of deserving special treatment.

8. Greater concern about change than the gospel. Almost any noticeable changes in the church evoke the ire of many; but those same passions are not evident about participating in the work of the gospel to change lives.

9. Anger and hostility. Members are consistently angry. They regularly express hostility toward the church staff and other members.

10. Evangelistic apathy. Very few members share their faith on a regular basis. More are concerned about their own needs rather than the greatest eternal needs of the world and community in which they live.

My list is not exhaustive. You may have some items you could add. Have you ever been a part of an inwardly obsessed church? What signs were evident that led you to know the church was inwardly obsessed? Do you affirm some of the items on my list?

THINGS YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ….

FOR DISCIPLESHIP MINISTRY: Transformational Discipleship, how people really grow; book and DVD - http://www.lifeway.com/n/product-family/transformational-discipleship

FOR DISCIPLESHIP MINISTRY: Transformational Discipleship assessment tool to chart where you are and suggestion of ‘next steps’ toward growth - http://tda.lifeway.com/

FOR DISCIPLESHIP MINISTRY: Mentor: How ‘along the way’ discipleship will change your life - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/mentor-how-along-the-way-discipleship-will-change-your-life-leader-kit-P005378214

FOR DISCIPLESHIP MINISTRY: 2013 January Bible Study; ‘The Greatest Week in History’ Luke’s Account of Passion Week - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/the-greatest-week-in-history-lukes-account-of-the-passion-week-leader-guide-with-cd-rom-P005371578

FOR LEADER TRAINING: Regional Sunday School Workshops; look for a GA Baptist sponsored conference near you - http://gabaptist.org/contentpages.aspx?parentnavigationid=9520&theparentnavigationid=4896&viewcontentpageguid=8b0dda97-1270-4907-a821-59c8df31a24b

FOR LEADER TRAINING: Transform: Changing Lives Through Teaching Conference, September 22, Hebron Baptist Church, Dacula -  http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Leadership-Training-Transform-2012-Dacula-GA

FOR LEADER TRAINING: Teach the Bible for Life Conference, September 28 & 29, Nashville, TN - http://www.lifeway.com/n/product-family/teach-the-bible-for-life?type=events

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: Family: leading the family by Kenny Luck - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/family-leading-a-family-dvd-leader-kit-P005469698

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: The Law of Love by Beth Moore, lessons from the pages of Deuteronomy - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/the-law-of-love-dvd-kit-p005537128

FOR YOUNG ADULT MINISTRY: Birds & Bees: a conversation about God, Sex, and Sexuality, a Threads study - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/birds-and-bees-a-conversation-about-god-sex-and-sexuality-leader-kit-P005474746

When Do You Drop Someone From the Roll?

Many churches are approaching the dawn of their new Bible Study year. They are forming new classes, rearranging others, and the inevitable questions always comes up, “What should we do about those people that never come anymore, should we drop them?”

 Here are some excellent steps that David ‘Mr. Sunday School’ Francis recently provided about ‘When Do We Drop Someone From the Roll?”

 1. Change the name from "Roll" to "Ministry List." That is subtle, but the idea is that it changes the primary responsibility. "Roll" connotes that the people, once enrolled, are committing themselves to attendance. "Ministry List" connotes that we, the leaders, are committing ourselves to the members, once they've agreed to enroll.

 2. Now, what does it take to get on the Ministry List? Just saying yes! Here's my stock phrase when I'm enrolling someone: "Enrolling in our class - agreeing to become a member of our Ministry List - does not make you a member of the church nor obligate you to become one." The obligation is on us, not them.

 3. Before removing someone from the Ministry List, ask this question: What's the worst thing that could happen to this person? If the answer is: "They might join another church, or maybe not ever go to church again, but we're pretty sure that when they die they'll go to heaven." However, if the answer is, "We don't know if anyone would ever pray for them again, ever contact them again, ever be available to minister to them again, and when they die, we're not at all sure they would go to heaven," then how about leaving them on the Ministry List?

 4. So, when would you drop someone from the Ministry List? (a) When they have moved too far away from the church for us to minister to them. If they were calling this a roll, my answer to this question would be, "If they moved too far away to attend." But, remember, it's a ministry list! (b) If they demand to be removed, and we've been unsuccessful at talking them out of it! Principle: Don't take people off the roll unless they want off - really bad!

 5. What do you say to someone who asks to be taken off the Ministry List? Try to communicate that you care for them and would like to be able to remain in touch with them, whether they attend or not. You'd like to be able to pray for them, and be available to respond to them in the event of a crisis in their family. Most people are only "testing the water" when they ask you to take them off the list. They may just want to know if you really care.

 What's the bottom line of all this? It is remembering that when we ask someone to enroll in Sunday School we are making a commitment to them more than asking them to make a commitment to us. In reality, it's a joint commitment.

 Who on your ministry list needs to be the recipient of your prayer or care this week? 

THINGS YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ….

COMING NEW BIBLE STUDY CURRICULUM: The Gospel Project, for age 3 through adult, to order - http://gospelproject.com/

 FOR WORSHIP PLANNING: You can align your worship services with The Gospel Project curriculum by using these worship ideas: http://www.lifewayworship.com/n/gospelprojectworship

 FOR DISCIPLESHIP MINISTRY: Transformational Discipleship, how people really grow; book and DVD - http://www.lifeway.com/n/product-family/transformational-discipleship

 FOR DISCIPLESHIP MINISTRY: Transformational Discipleship assessment tool to chart where you are and suggestion of ‘next steps’ toward growth - http://tda.lifeway.com/

 FOR DISCIPLESHIP MINISTRY: Radical small group study; combines messages from David Platt concerning Radical and Radical Together - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/radical-small-group-study-dvd-kit-P005471377

 FOR DISCIPLESHIP MINISTRY: It’s Not Too Late by Tony Evans, how God uses broken people to accomplish His purposes - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/its-not-too-late-how-god-uses-less-than-perfect-people-leader-kit-P005475107

 FOR ‘BOOMERS’ MINISTRY: A new magazine just for boomers, More Living; read through a preview issue - http://www.lifeway.com/article/more-living-new-lifeway-magazine-urges-boomers-do-what-matters?cid=rdr-moreliving

 FOR LEADER TRAINING: Missionary Sunday School webcast, July 2, 4:00pm, FREE - http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Leadership-Training-Event-Missionary-Sunday-School-Webcast-2012

 FOR LEADER TRAINING: Transform: Changing Lives Through Teaching Conference, September 22, Hebron Baptist Church, Dacula -  http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Leadership-Training-Transform-2012-Dacula-GA

 FOR LEADER TRAINING: Teach the Bible for Life Conference, September 28 & 29, Nashville, TN - http://www.lifeway.com/n/product-family/teach-the-bible-for-life?type=events

 FOR EDUCATION MINISTERS: Excel 2012 Conference, September 24-26, Nashville, TN - http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Leadership-Training-Excel-2012-Nashville-TN

 FOR MEN: Sleeping Giant by Kenny Luck, an intentional discipleship process for me, moving them from ‘affiliated’ to ‘activated’ - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/sleeping-giant-dvd-leader-kit-P005469852

 FOR MEN: All Pro Dad simulcast, August 25^th; a unique event for dads with elementary aged kids - http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Adult-Event-All-Pro-Dad-Simulcast

 FOR MEN: Kingdom Man by Tony Evans; helping to empower men to exercise their leadership responsibilities at home, at church, and in the world –  http://www.lifeway.com/Product/kingdom-man-dvd-leader-kit-P005469702

The Need for Regular Personal Check-Ups

Philip Yancey is one of my favorite authors. I believe I have read every book he has written and all of them have impacted, challenged, and strengthened my faith system. I appreciate his transparency in sharing his struggles in his walk. Here is one example from his book, Reaching for the Invisible God.  His instructions in the second paragraph are excellent for anyone, especially those in ministry positions.

Rarely do I wake up in the morning full of faith. Instead, I feel a bit like a tropical fish I used to keep in a saltwater aquarium. This fish would excrete a poisonous sac around its body at night, then sleep in peace, free from harassment by its neighbors. Each morning, however, the fish woke up in a milky cloud of poison. So often my faith disappears overnight and I wake up in a cloud of poisonous doubt. “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you?” Paul asked the Corinthians. If God himself lives inside me, shouldn’t I wake up with that knowledge and live in constant awareness all day long? Alas, I do not. Paul says elsewhere that God “set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.” After an organ transplant, doctors must use anti-rejection drugs to suppress the immune system or else the body will throw off the newly grafted member. I have come to see the Holy Spirit as a power living inside me that keeps me from throwing off the new identity God has implanted. My spiritual immune system needs daily reminders that God’s presence belongs within me and is no foreign object. Absorbing a new identity requires an act of will. Take off your old self and put on your new self, Paul advises, as if we “clothe our minds” in the way we make daily selections from a wardrobe. I have found that the process requires a determined effort.

Rather than rushing from one task to the next, pause for a moment and recognize the time between times. Before dialing the phone, pause and think about the person on the other end. After reading from a book, pause and think back through how you were moved. After watching a television show, pause and ask what it contributed to your life. Before reading the Bible, pause and ask for a spirit of attention.

THINGS YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ….

COMING NEW BIBLE STUDY CURRICULUM: The Gospel Project, for age 3 through adult, for samples and to sign up for a free trial use - http://gospelproject.com/

FOR WORSHIP PLANNING: You can align your worship services with The Gospel Project curriculum by using these worship ideas: http://www.lifewayworship.com/n/gospelprojectworship

FOR ‘BOOMERS’ MINISTRY: A new magazine just for boomers, More Living; read through a preview issue - http://www.lifeway.com/article/more-living-new-lifeway-magazine-urges-boomers-do-what-matters?cid=rdr-moreliving

FOR MEN: Men of Honor simulcast, Friday, June 15^th; a night of teaching, worship, & testimonies with Sherwood Baptist’s Michael Katt, Kendrick brothers and cast of Courageous, cost is only $5 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/men-of-honor?type=events&CID=RDR-menofhonor

FOR MEN: Sleeping Giant by Kenny Luck, an intentional discipleship process for me, moving them from ‘affiliated’ to ‘activated’ - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/sleeping-giant-dvd-leader-kit-P005469852

FOR MEN: All Pro Dad simulcast, August 25^th; a unique event for dads with elementary aged kids - http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Adult-Event-All-Pro-Dad-Simulcast

 FOR MEN: Kingdom Man by Tony Evans; helping to empower men to exercise their leadership responsibilities at home, at church, and in the world –  http://www.lifeway.com/Product/kingdom-man-dvd-leader-kit-P005469702

FOR YOUTH MINSTRY: There's been a change in the Summer KNOWN eLeader guide file format in the digital bundle.   Rather than one large file, it has been split into four parts:  front matter material and the three units. 

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Faith Limps by Michael Kelley; how to deal with those spiritual questions of doubt and God’s fairness – http://www.lifeway.com/Product/faith-limps-trusting-a-good-god-in-a-broken-world-dvd-leader-kit-P005471379

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Church Essentials by Mark Dever; help your church members to recognize the marks of a healthy church - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/church-essentials-what-is-a-healthy-church-dvd-leader-kit-P005467770

FOR LEADER TRAINING: Transform: Changing Lives Through Teaching Conference, September 22, Hebron Baptist Church, Dacula -  http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Leadership-Training-Transform-2012-Dacula-GA

FOR LEADER TRAINING: Teach the Bible for Life Conference, September 28 & 29, Nashville, TN - http://www.lifeway.com/n/product-family/teach-the-bible-for-life?type=events

FOR EDUCATION MINISTERS: Excel 2012 Conference, September 24-26, Nashville, TN - http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Leadership-Training-Excel-2012-Nashville-TN

Ten Tips

This is an excerpt from a blog by Kevin DeYoung. He is reflecting on things he has learned in his ten years of marriage.  These tips can be applied in many situations, but with Mother’s Day around the corner, they could be a nice promise (some may need adapting) to give to someone special by a husband, son, or daughter.

1. Take time to notice and say thank you. It may be the same chores, the same meal, and the same kids, but don’t overlook all that your wife continues to do for you. Pay attention and let her know you are paying attention.

2. Speaking of paying attention, don’t try to fake it. If you are immersed in the game or an email or a book, better to tell her so instead of making a vain attempt at multitasking. Say “Dear, let me finish this page/paragraph/play and I’ll be able to give you my undivided attention.”

3. Get her something for Christmas, Valentine’s Day, her birthday, and her anniversary. Consider Ground Hog’s Day and Arbor Day just to be safe. She may tell you she doesn’t need anything. And with some wives, she may even mean it. But don’t find out if she does.

4. Surprise her. Don’t be dull. Don’t always be predictable. Surprise her with a poem, a gift, a trip, a night out with her friends, a chance to see her mom, a day home from the office. Show her that you think about her even when you aren’t expected to.

5. You gotta ‘get it’. While we are talking about expectation, understand that sometimes she wants you to “get it” without having to spell it out for you. Yes, it would be easier if your wife just told you exactly what she wanted when she wanted it. But that ain’t the way things work with the fairer sex. You have to learn to pick up the coffee without her telling you to. You have to pick the right restaurant on your own. Sometimes what she wants more than anything else is for you to figure out what she wants. That may drive you bonkers, but it’s part of loving your wife well enough to know her well.

6. Don’t compare. No wife is perfect (except mine probably), but don’t try to improve her by comparison. Nothing good is going to happen when you bring up your momma, your buddy’s wife, or Susanna Wesley. Unless the comparison is to Jesus, just drop it.

7. Don’t use up all your words by 6pm. Your wife wants you to talk, so learn to talk. Talk about your day. Talk about your plans. If you have feelings, talk about those too. Respond to her communication with more than nods and hmms. And don’t say “interesting” if you aren’t really listening. You’ll get yourself in trouble.

8. Don’t talk about leading, just lead. A lengthy discussion on the meaning of kephale will fascinate a few wives, but almost all wives appreciate a husband’s gentle leadership. Ask her to pray. Say “let’s.” Take initiative with the kids, especially in discipline. Call the babysitter. Iron out the details. Don’t shy away from hard decisions. Be a man.

9. Make her laugh. A marriage without humor is like oatmeal without brown sugar: it might still be good for you, but it’s basically congealed mush. If you’ve stopped laughing, you may have started hardening.

10. Repent and forgive. Say “I’m sorry.” Be specific and don’t make excuses. Try to see things her way. If you were only half wrong, own up to your half of the wrong. And when she owns up to her half (or her three-quarters or her one-eighth), give her grace, give her a hug, and move on.

THINGS YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ….

COMING NEW BIBLE STUDY CURRICULUM: The Gospel Project, for age 3 through adult, for samples and to sign up for a free trial use - http://gospelproject.com/

FOR ‘BOOMERS’ MINISTRY: A new magazine just for boomers, More Living; read through a preview issue - http://www.lifeway.com/article/more-living-new-lifeway-magazine-urges-boomers-do-what-matters?cid=rdr-moreliving

FOR MEN: Game Plan for Life simulcast with Joe Gibbs & Tony Evans, May 26 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Game-Plan-for-Life-Simulcast?type=events&intcmp=iTeam4-mtx-simulcasts-LWMen-GamePlanSimulcast-20111111

FOR MEN: Sleeping Giant by Kenny Luck, an intentional discipleship process for me, moving them from ‘affiliated’ to ‘activated’ - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/sleeping-giant-dvd-leader-kit-P005469852

FOR MEN: Men of Honor simulcast, Friday, June 15^th; a night of teaching, worship, & testimonies with Sherwood Baptist’s Michael Katt, Kendrick brothers and cast of Courageous, cost is only $5 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/men-of-honor?type=events&CID=RDR-menofhonor

FOR WOMEN: “Every Life is Beautiful” :The October Baby movie Bible Study, - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/every-life-is-beautiful-the-october-baby-bible-study-leader-kit-P005508071

FOR LEADER TRAINING: Transform: Changing Lives Through Teaching Conference, September 22, Hebron Baptist Church, Dacula -  http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Leadership-Training-Transform-2012-Dacula-GA

FOR LEADER TRAINING: Teach the Bible for Life Conference, September 28 & 29, Nashville, TN - http://www.lifeway.com/n/product-family/teach-the-bible-for-life?type=events

FOR EDUCATION MINISTERS: Excel 2012 Conference, September 24-26, Nashville, TN - http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Leadership-Training-Excel-2012-Nashville-TN

Take A Risk

^{Adapted from Bob Reccord,}

^{On Mission, May-June 2000}

In being “Ronald” for the McDonald’s Corporation, one of the appearances they do is visiting children in community hospitals. One restriction that is strictly adhered to is that “Ronald” is not allowed to touch people to avoid germ transfer. Breaking this rule could mean job termination.

One day he heard the weak voice of a sick child calling out: “Ronald … Ronald.” Pushing the door open, he saw a boy of 5 hooked up to every machine imaginable with family members surrounding the bed.

Quietly, he walked over to the boy and asked his name. “Billy,” came the weak response. Ronald did a few magic tricks as he lay smiling.

Then, just as he was leaving, Billy stopped him and softly asked, “Ronald, will you hold me?” Smiling, he told Billy that he could not hold him right now, but he could take a minute and color a picture with him.

When the picture was finished, he started for the door only to be stopped again: “Ronald, will you hold me?”

His heart cried, “yes!” but his mind shouted “no!” Which voice should he listen to? He could think of no reasonable response that would allow him to leave the room of a dying boy.

He thought up an excuse to get everyone to leave and asked the nurse to turn away, as he reached out his arms and gingerly lifted the frail frame of the boy.

For nearly an hour, Billy lay in “Ronald’s” arms as they laughed and cried together. Billy talked about things that worried him – his little brother might get lost coming home from kindergarten without the aid of his older brother; or who would make sure his dog would find the chew bones he hid somewhere in the house.

Later, through the tear-streaked makeup, he gave Billy’s mom and dad his real name and phone number (another act that could lead to termination), and asked that he be contacted if there was anything else he could do for them.

Less than 48 hours later, he received a call from Billy’s mom saying that little Billy had died. She called to express their thanks and to say that after he had left the room, Billy said to her, “Mama, I don’t care anymore whether I see Santa this year … because I was held by Ronald McDonald”.

Similar to the Good Samaritan, this man took some personal risks in order to make a difference in a person’s life that was going through difficult times. I pray that you (and members of your church) will have the strength and wisdom to “take a risk” in ministry to someone God brings into your path.

- RE

SOME THINGS YOU MAY BE INTERESTED IN ....

FOR YOUNG ADULTS: Creation Restored: The Gospel According to Genesis, releasing in April - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/creation-restored-the-gospel-according-to-genesis-dvd-leader-kit-P005430352

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Faith Limps; Trusting a Good God in a Broken World by Michael Kelley - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/faith-limps-trusting-a-good-god-in-a-broken-world-dvd-leader-kit-P005471379

COMING NEW BIBLE STUDY CURRICULUM: The Gospel Project, for age 3 through adult, for samples and to sign up for a free trial use - http://gospelproject.com/

FOR ‘BOOMERS’ MINISTRY: A new magazine just for boomers, More Living; read through a preview issue - http://www.lifeway.com/article/more-living-new-lifeway-magazine-urges-boomers-do-what-matters?cid=rdr-moreliving

FOR MEN: Game Plan for Life simulcast with Joe Gibbs & Tony Evans, May 26 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Game-Plan-for-Life-Simulcast?type=events&intcmp=iTeam4-mtx-simulcasts-LWMen-GamePlanSimulcast-20111111

FOR WOMEN: “Every Life is Beautiful” :The October Baby movie Bible Study, - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/every-life-is-beautiful-the-october-baby-bible-study-leader-kit-P005508071

FOR WOMEN: Going Beyond simulcast with Priscilla Shirer, May 4-5 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Going-Beyond-Simulcast?type=events&intcmp=iTeam4-mtx-simulcasts-LWWomen-Shirer-GBSimulcast-20111111

FOR LEADER TRAINING: Transform: Changing Lives Through Teaching Conference, September 22, Hebron Baptist Church, Dacula - http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Leadership-Training-Transform-2012-Dacula-GA

FOR LEADER TRAINING: Teach the Bible for Life Conference, September 28 & 29, Nashville, TN - http://www.lifeway.com/n/product-family/teach-the-bible-for-life?type=events

FOR EDUCATION MINISTERS: Excel 2012 Conference, September 24-26, Nashville, TN - http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Leadership-Training-Excel-2012-Nashville-TN