Ten Tips

This is an excerpt from a blog by Kevin DeYoung. He is reflecting on things he has learned in his ten years of marriage.  These tips can be applied in many situations, but with Mother’s Day around the corner, they could be a nice promise (some may need adapting) to give to someone special by a husband, son, or daughter.

1. Take time to notice and say thank you. It may be the same chores, the same meal, and the same kids, but don’t overlook all that your wife continues to do for you. Pay attention and let her know you are paying attention.

2. Speaking of paying attention, don’t try to fake it. If you are immersed in the game or an email or a book, better to tell her so instead of making a vain attempt at multitasking. Say “Dear, let me finish this page/paragraph/play and I’ll be able to give you my undivided attention.”

3. Get her something for Christmas, Valentine’s Day, her birthday, and her anniversary. Consider Ground Hog’s Day and Arbor Day just to be safe. She may tell you she doesn’t need anything. And with some wives, she may even mean it. But don’t find out if she does.

4. Surprise her. Don’t be dull. Don’t always be predictable. Surprise her with a poem, a gift, a trip, a night out with her friends, a chance to see her mom, a day home from the office. Show her that you think about her even when you aren’t expected to.

5. You gotta ‘get it’. While we are talking about expectation, understand that sometimes she wants you to “get it” without having to spell it out for you. Yes, it would be easier if your wife just told you exactly what she wanted when she wanted it. But that ain’t the way things work with the fairer sex. You have to learn to pick up the coffee without her telling you to. You have to pick the right restaurant on your own. Sometimes what she wants more than anything else is for you to figure out what she wants. That may drive you bonkers, but it’s part of loving your wife well enough to know her well.

6. Don’t compare. No wife is perfect (except mine probably), but don’t try to improve her by comparison. Nothing good is going to happen when you bring up your momma, your buddy’s wife, or Susanna Wesley. Unless the comparison is to Jesus, just drop it.

7. Don’t use up all your words by 6pm. Your wife wants you to talk, so learn to talk. Talk about your day. Talk about your plans. If you have feelings, talk about those too. Respond to her communication with more than nods and hmms. And don’t say “interesting” if you aren’t really listening. You’ll get yourself in trouble.

8. Don’t talk about leading, just lead. A lengthy discussion on the meaning of kephale will fascinate a few wives, but almost all wives appreciate a husband’s gentle leadership. Ask her to pray. Say “let’s.” Take initiative with the kids, especially in discipline. Call the babysitter. Iron out the details. Don’t shy away from hard decisions. Be a man.

9. Make her laugh. A marriage without humor is like oatmeal without brown sugar: it might still be good for you, but it’s basically congealed mush. If you’ve stopped laughing, you may have started hardening.

10. Repent and forgive. Say “I’m sorry.” Be specific and don’t make excuses. Try to see things her way. If you were only half wrong, own up to your half of the wrong. And when she owns up to her half (or her three-quarters or her one-eighth), give her grace, give her a hug, and move on.

THINGS YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ….

COMING NEW BIBLE STUDY CURRICULUM: The Gospel Project, for age 3 through adult, for samples and to sign up for a free trial use - http://gospelproject.com/

FOR ‘BOOMERS’ MINISTRY: A new magazine just for boomers, More Living; read through a preview issue - http://www.lifeway.com/article/more-living-new-lifeway-magazine-urges-boomers-do-what-matters?cid=rdr-moreliving

FOR MEN: Game Plan for Life simulcast with Joe Gibbs & Tony Evans, May 26 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Game-Plan-for-Life-Simulcast?type=events&intcmp=iTeam4-mtx-simulcasts-LWMen-GamePlanSimulcast-20111111

FOR MEN: Sleeping Giant by Kenny Luck, an intentional discipleship process for me, moving them from ‘affiliated’ to ‘activated’ - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/sleeping-giant-dvd-leader-kit-P005469852

FOR MEN: Men of Honor simulcast, Friday, June 15^th; a night of teaching, worship, & testimonies with Sherwood Baptist’s Michael Katt, Kendrick brothers and cast of Courageous, cost is only $5 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/men-of-honor?type=events&CID=RDR-menofhonor

FOR WOMEN: “Every Life is Beautiful” :The October Baby movie Bible Study, - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/every-life-is-beautiful-the-october-baby-bible-study-leader-kit-P005508071

FOR LEADER TRAINING: Transform: Changing Lives Through Teaching Conference, September 22, Hebron Baptist Church, Dacula -  http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Leadership-Training-Transform-2012-Dacula-GA

FOR LEADER TRAINING: Teach the Bible for Life Conference, September 28 & 29, Nashville, TN - http://www.lifeway.com/n/product-family/teach-the-bible-for-life?type=events

FOR EDUCATION MINISTERS: Excel 2012 Conference, September 24-26, Nashville, TN - http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Leadership-Training-Excel-2012-Nashville-TN

Take A Risk

^{Adapted from Bob Reccord,}

^{On Mission, May-June 2000}

In being “Ronald” for the McDonald’s Corporation, one of the appearances they do is visiting children in community hospitals. One restriction that is strictly adhered to is that “Ronald” is not allowed to touch people to avoid germ transfer. Breaking this rule could mean job termination.

One day he heard the weak voice of a sick child calling out: “Ronald … Ronald.” Pushing the door open, he saw a boy of 5 hooked up to every machine imaginable with family members surrounding the bed.

Quietly, he walked over to the boy and asked his name. “Billy,” came the weak response. Ronald did a few magic tricks as he lay smiling.

Then, just as he was leaving, Billy stopped him and softly asked, “Ronald, will you hold me?” Smiling, he told Billy that he could not hold him right now, but he could take a minute and color a picture with him.

When the picture was finished, he started for the door only to be stopped again: “Ronald, will you hold me?”

His heart cried, “yes!” but his mind shouted “no!” Which voice should he listen to? He could think of no reasonable response that would allow him to leave the room of a dying boy.

He thought up an excuse to get everyone to leave and asked the nurse to turn away, as he reached out his arms and gingerly lifted the frail frame of the boy.

For nearly an hour, Billy lay in “Ronald’s” arms as they laughed and cried together. Billy talked about things that worried him – his little brother might get lost coming home from kindergarten without the aid of his older brother; or who would make sure his dog would find the chew bones he hid somewhere in the house.

Later, through the tear-streaked makeup, he gave Billy’s mom and dad his real name and phone number (another act that could lead to termination), and asked that he be contacted if there was anything else he could do for them.

Less than 48 hours later, he received a call from Billy’s mom saying that little Billy had died. She called to express their thanks and to say that after he had left the room, Billy said to her, “Mama, I don’t care anymore whether I see Santa this year … because I was held by Ronald McDonald”.

Similar to the Good Samaritan, this man took some personal risks in order to make a difference in a person’s life that was going through difficult times. I pray that you (and members of your church) will have the strength and wisdom to “take a risk” in ministry to someone God brings into your path.

- RE

SOME THINGS YOU MAY BE INTERESTED IN ....

FOR YOUNG ADULTS: Creation Restored: The Gospel According to Genesis, releasing in April - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/creation-restored-the-gospel-according-to-genesis-dvd-leader-kit-P005430352

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Faith Limps; Trusting a Good God in a Broken World by Michael Kelley - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/faith-limps-trusting-a-good-god-in-a-broken-world-dvd-leader-kit-P005471379

COMING NEW BIBLE STUDY CURRICULUM: The Gospel Project, for age 3 through adult, for samples and to sign up for a free trial use - http://gospelproject.com/

FOR ‘BOOMERS’ MINISTRY: A new magazine just for boomers, More Living; read through a preview issue - http://www.lifeway.com/article/more-living-new-lifeway-magazine-urges-boomers-do-what-matters?cid=rdr-moreliving

FOR MEN: Game Plan for Life simulcast with Joe Gibbs & Tony Evans, May 26 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Game-Plan-for-Life-Simulcast?type=events&intcmp=iTeam4-mtx-simulcasts-LWMen-GamePlanSimulcast-20111111

FOR WOMEN: “Every Life is Beautiful” :The October Baby movie Bible Study, - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/every-life-is-beautiful-the-october-baby-bible-study-leader-kit-P005508071

FOR WOMEN: Going Beyond simulcast with Priscilla Shirer, May 4-5 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Going-Beyond-Simulcast?type=events&intcmp=iTeam4-mtx-simulcasts-LWWomen-Shirer-GBSimulcast-20111111

FOR LEADER TRAINING: Transform: Changing Lives Through Teaching Conference, September 22, Hebron Baptist Church, Dacula - http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Leadership-Training-Transform-2012-Dacula-GA

FOR LEADER TRAINING: Teach the Bible for Life Conference, September 28 & 29, Nashville, TN - http://www.lifeway.com/n/product-family/teach-the-bible-for-life?type=events

FOR EDUCATION MINISTERS: Excel 2012 Conference, September 24-26, Nashville, TN - http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Leadership-Training-Excel-2012-Nashville-TN

The Gospel and the Discipline of Bible Intake

by Donald S. Whitney (adapted from article on LifeWay.com)

Surely no one reading this article needs to be convinced of the importance of feeding upon the Word of God. As Jesus said, "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God" (Matthew 4:4). It is through the regular, personal intake of the Bible that we come to know God better, understand His will for our lives, experience God's transforming presence, and much more. But have you considered the significance of the daily saturation in Scripture for developing a more gospel-centered, Christ-focused life?

Preach the gospel to yourself every day

Martin Luther encouraged Christians: "preach the gospel to yourself every day." So there are times in every day when we need the reminder that what we are doing, saying, or thinking is sinful and needs to be taken by repentance to the cross of Jesus for forgiveness. Also, there are moments each day when we require a fresh awareness that a Christian lives in the freedom of God's forgiveness and the righteousness of Christ because of the person and work of Jesus. We need to transform our daily Bible reading time into a stimulus to this kind of biblical thinking. Regardless of how much or how little Scripture you read on a given day, close by going back to something from your reading and ask: "How does this relate to the gospel and to Jesus?"

Meditation - the absorption of Scripture

Choosing a few words from your reading and asking such questions is one way to meditate on Scripture. Some of the most remarkable promises in the Bible are associated with the practice of meditation on Scripture (e.g., Joshua 1:8; Psalm 1:3; James 1:25). Despite these, I am convinced that the greatest devotional need for most believers - even those committed to daily Bible reading - is to meditate on Scripture. Reading the Bible was never intended to be the primary means of absorbing the Bible. Reading is the exposure to Scripture - and that's the starting place. Meditation is the absorption of Scripture. And it is this that leads to the experiences with God and the changes in our lives we seek when we come to the Bible.

Biblical meditation - simple and doable

Biblical meditation has to be simple if it is to be doable, for God has children around the world with incredible diversity. Accordingly, there are many ways to meditate on the text of Scripture, such as repeating the verse or phrase with emphasis on a different word each time, rewriting the verse or phrase in your own words, looking for applications of the text, formulating a principle from it, asking what question is answered or problem is solved by it, and praying through the text. Another simple method is what I have suggested here - to select something from your reading and ask: "How does this relate to the gospel and to Jesus?"

If you spend just sixty seconds meditating on a verse of Scripture, do you realize that may be ten to twenty times as long as you would normally consider that verse? Reserve at least a minute in your Bible reading time today, choose a verse and ask: "How does this relate to the gospel and to Jesus?"

THINGS YOU MAY BE INTERESTED IN ......

FOR VBS ’12 LEADERS: VBS Training Clinics in Georgia in the month of March - http://www.gabaptist.org/contentpages.aspx?parentnavigationid=7526&theparentnavigationid=4896&viewcontentpageguid=58658d80-0148-496b-bd39-a0a831b76eb1

FOR LEADER TRAINING: Sunday School in HD Conference at FBC/Woodstock, March 15 & 16 - http://sundayschoolinhd.org/

FOR ADULTS: Secret Church simulcast with David Platt, April 6 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Secret-Church-Simulcast-with-David-Platt?type=events&intcmp=iTeam3-mtx-simulcasts-SecretChurch

FOR YOUNG ADULTS: Creation Restored: The Gospel According to Genesis, releasing in April - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/creation-restored-the-gospel-according-to-genesis-dvd-leader-kit-P005430352

COMING NEW BIBLE STUDY CURRICULUM: The Gospel Project, for age 3 through adult, for samples and to sign up for a free trial use - http://gospelproject.com/

The Gospel Project webcast: Get an inside look at the new Bible study curriculum coming this fall from editors Ed Stetzer and Trevin Wax, March 14 at 3:00 (eastern) - http://www.gospelproject.com/webcast/

FOR ‘BOOMERS’ MINISTRY: A new magazine just for boomers, More Living; read through a preview issue - http://www.lifeway.com/article/more-living-new-lifeway-magazine-urges-boomers-do-what-matters?cid=rdr-moreliving

FOR MEN: Intimacy: Understanding a Woman’s Heart by Kenny Luck - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/intimacy-understanding-a-womans-heart-dvd-leader-kit-P005469696

FOR MEN: Game Plan for Life simulcast with Joe Gibbs & Tony Evans, May 26 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Game-Plan-for-Life-Simulcast?type=events&intcmp=iTeam4-mtx-simulcasts-LWMen-GamePlanSimulcast-20111111

FOR WOMEN: “Every Life is Beautiful” :The October Baby movie Bible Study, releasing in April - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/every-life-is-beautiful-the-october-baby-bible-study-leader-kit-P005508071