The Best Christmas Gift

I’ve shared on several occasions via this blog over the past few years about several events that have impacted me and my family through the life and death of my son, Jacob. If you’ll indulge me I want to share another.

As a quick reminder or for those uninformed, Jacob was born with a severe and fatal (without intervention) heart defect called hypoplastic left heart syndrome back in 1988.  He underwent three open heart surgeries in Philadelphia within his first two years of birth by Dr. William Norwood, who had pioneered this series of palliative surgeries.

To fast forward to December 2004 … Jacob’s ailing heart was weakening to the point that our only hope was a heart transplant. So we sat and waited to see which of two results came first – a heart came or his time ran out.

Then on December 21^st, Karen and I received a call at 4:00am while we were in the catacombs of Egleston hospital in Atlanta.  In those catacombs the hospital had graciously provided free sleeping rooms for parents. The nurse called to gleefully announce to us that a heart had been located. I figured it was going to be awhile before the donor heart would make its way to the hospital and I knew it would be a long day of surgery so I jumped into the shower to wake me up and to get ready for what lay ahead.  About 20 minutes later, Jacob’s nurse called and frantically said, “Where are y’all?  They’re about to take Jacob away for prepping!” We rushed up to the floor, tying our shoes in the elevator, to get the chance to see Jacob and tell him we loved him (and praying it wouldn’t be for the last time). Thankfully, we made it in time.

The rest of the day was a whirlwind of updates and activity around us as the waiting room grew crowded with family and church friends praying for a Christmas miracle.

And it came … Early in the afternoon the surgeon came to meet with Karen and me in the consultation room. Often these rooms are used to break bad news to a person or family but he called us in because of the crush of friends and family that had accumulated in the waiting room.  Dr. Cantor shared that he couldn’t believe that Jacob’s old heart had lasted so long, but that the new one was in and beating well on its own.  He reminded us that the road ahead was a long one but that we were off to a good start.

Christmas Day 2004 with the family

Later that evening, Karen and I were able, at long last, to sit by the bed of Jacob. He was laid out on his back with tubes and wires running in and out and everywhere all over his body. If you stopped to listen in the quietness of late night, you would hear the rhythmic 'pssssst' of the ventilator and the bubbling of the pleurovac. You would have thought you were in some mad scientist's laboratory. But to us, it became a place of worship.

The emotions of those last twenty-four hours had drained us but everyone around us could see the relief on our faces. We were, indeed, relieved and grateful to be where we were.  But we were also reminded that another family had just experienced the most severe of tragedies that would permanently alter their Christmas holiday for the rest of their lives.  We celebrated but they were grieving. 

(But five short years after this time of celebration [and another with the second heart transplant in 2007], Karen and I along with our entire family and circle of friends encountered that same life-altering experience when Jacob died of cardiac arrest battling a heart rejection episode.)

So we are constantly reminded that someone’s death became the pathway of life for Jacob and us.

 And, so, as we celebrate the birth of the Christ child with all of its gift-giving, food consuming, and family loving splendor, we must remind ourselves the purpose of His birth.

It is in His death and glorious resurrection; we have a pathway of eternal life offered to us.  And that is truly ….

THE BEST OF ALL CHRISTMAS GIFTS

THINGS YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ….

FOR EDUCATION LEADERS: GBACE Annual Conference, SHIFT, with keynote speaker, Dr. Thom Rainer - http://www.gbace.org/annual-conference.html

FOR TRAINING LEADERSHIP: Ministry Pathways by Ministry Grid; Simplified plans for training ministry leaders throughout your church. http://buff.ly/1jZJIW5

FOR HELP IN WRITING YOUR OWN BIBLE STUDIES: Smallgroup.com offers Bible studies for every book in the Bible and over 200 topics.  Now video supported studies are available! - http://home.smallgroup.com/

FOR DISCIPLESHIP:  DevoHub, a new way of delivering a daily devotional to your church and community - http://devohub.com/

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Disciples Path, a plan for developing disciples - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Disciples-Path

FOR ADULT MINISTRY: 5 Ways Senior Adult Church Become Younger - http://thomrainer.com/2015/09/five-ways-some-senior-adult-churches-became-younger/

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: Johnny Hunt’s Men’s Conference simulcast, February 5-6, 2016 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/product-family/johnny-hunt-men's-conference?type=events&intcmp=MensEvents-MTX-Text-JHuntSimulcast-20150903

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY: Priscilla Sherer Live Simulcast, April 23, 2016 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Priscilla-Shirer-Live-Simulcast?type=events&emid=women-pslsimulcasteblast1-pslsimulcastfamilypage-20151118

FOR YOUTH MINISTRY: MOVE Conference, Macon, GA, December 28-29 - http://move.superwow.com/#about

FOR YOUTH MINISTRY: CONCLAVE Conference, Chattanooga, TN, January 28-30, 2016 - http://ymconclave.org/

FOR YOUTH MINISTRY: Discipleship Interview with Real Youth, Parts 1-3 by Ben Trueblood; hear what they want to tell their youth pastor - http://www.lifeway.com/studentministry/2015/10/28/a-discipleship-interview-part-3/

FOR YOUTH MINISTRY: Disciples Path for students – a new series for developing your student’s discipleship - http://www.lifeway.com/Disciples-Path/Youth/c/N-1z0znzeZ1z141ym?intcmp=DisciplesPath-MTX-Text-Students-20150625

FOR YOUTH MINISTRY: LifeWay Girls Conference, February 19 & 20, 2016 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/LifeWay-Girls-Conference?type=events&EMID=jk-newslettergcon-092415

FOR KIDS MINISTRY: Kids Ministry Summit, Jekyll Island, GA, February 4-5 - http://gabaptistgroups.org/training-conferences/2016-kids-ministry-summit/

FOR KIDS MINISTRY: VBS Jumpstarts, helping to get your VBS off on the right foot - http://gabaptistgroups.org/training-conferences/2016-vbs-jumpstarts/

FOR KIDS MINISTRY: I’m a Christian Now resources, newly revised! - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/I'm-a-Christian-Now

A Thanksgiving Tribute: The Silence of God

I readily admit that I am not an intellectual giant (and I’m sure I can find plenty of people who would be quick to step forward and testify on my behalf on this).  I have tried to read C.S. Lewis on several occasions and after a paragraph or two, I would have to pause and say to myself, “wait, what did he just say?” and feel the need to break it down one word at a time.  And with that much mental overexertion, I would quickly lay aside the book.

However, after the death of my son, Jacob, there have been times when I had an insatiable need to read in order to find some sense in the pain experienced in the loss of a loved one and to find answers to questions such as:

Why did God allow this to happen?

Where was God in all of this?

Why were my prayers unanswered? As well as the prayers of many others on his behalf?

How can this be part of God’s plan?

Does prayer really accomplish anything?

I tried to read many good books that helped me cope with these questions but doubts still remained.  Being a minister actually made things worse because I had spent my career teaching and telling people to ‘have faith’; that ‘God is in control’; to’just pray about it’; and on and on my words of ‘comfort and counsel’ had gone.  But now, I was the one that was feeling empty and those ‘comforting words’ were only hand full of thorns that had caused additional pain.

That is until I read C.S Lewis’ “A Grief Observed” … and came across this quote:

 But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence. You may as well turn away. The longer you wait, the more emphatic the silence will become. There are no lights in the windows. It might be an empty house. Was it ever inhabited? It seemed so once. And that seeming was as strong as this. What can this mean? Why is He so present a commander in our time of prosperity and so very absent a help in time of trouble?

Wow, he described that same deafening silence I was hearing from God!

As I continued reading on this subject I began to find other people who are well known and well thought of in spiritual circles who described their times of ‘spiritual darkness’ or ‘spiritual dryness’.  And as a result, I quit persecuting myself and came to realize that this is only a part (though a very painful part) of the spiritual maturation process.

I have found myself on a part of the spiritual path I was never aware of before the death of Jacob and one I was not prepared to journey, no, not one iota.

For a period of time I felt I had been abandoned.  Lewis’ description of the doorway was all too real to me.  But now I’m realizing, in the midst of the silence, a very different type of closeness to God  -  one that is difficult to describe.

In recent years, my mantra has become “expect nothing and you won’t be disappointed”.  As cynical and skeptical as that sounds it has really helped me to cope with a lot of things. And in a really strange way, it has simplified and deepened my faith and relationship with God.

Let me explain before you say (if you haven’t already been saying it), “Poor, poor, Richard.  He has really slipped down the steps and gone off the deep end.”

In expecting nothing, it has caused a shift of focus from the gifts desired and now onto gratitude for the giver.  Before, prayer and my entire relationship with God hinged on what I hoped to receive out of it. I always came with great expectations.  And those expectations would sometimes end with disappointment.

Now I come with no expectations. I only strive to be aware of His presence.  I have slowly come to appreciate the small things that come my way now.  I have lowered my expectations of great things and big answers.  Now whatever good comes my way, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, I try to celebrate on the gift given and, to a greater extent, the giver giving it.

I now find joy and express thanksgiving in things like:

- a car starting (and stopping)

- the wag of a dog’s tail

- the quietness of early morning

- a night sky full of stars

- the sound of rain

- sunrises and sunsets

- the wonder of hummingbirds

- the comfort of the company of friends

- another day with loved ones

- a comfortable home on a cold, rainy night

- knowledge that my children are well for the moment (and that Jacob is well forever)

- the silent, loving presence of my wife

- acknowledging the worth of a person with a smile and cheerful word

- hearing from a childhood friend through Facebook

- walks in the woods

- watching squirrels quibble over a piece of birdseed

- the babbling of our backyard brook

And yes, even in a death of a loved one. Though, I must say, this one brings no joy and, often, very little verbal thanksgiving.  It does result in a quiet sense of His comforting presence.

I could go on listing things and, I hope, you could too.

All of these ‘insignificant’ encounters assure me that God is present.  He has not forsaken me.  This list of things is evidence of his love and concern for me.  Though I may repel from His love at times, though I may even question His love at times … these items are often used to remind me that He is there.

I’m sure you are thinking that this is the strangest tribute to Thanksgiving you’ve ever read.  But I can say that I am thankful for the silence of God in my life.  For as devastating as it has been, it has also opened up a new dimension of God and his presence in my life.  Happy Thanksgiving to all!!!

THINGS YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ….

FOR CHURCH ADVENT CELEBRATION: The Expected One by Scott James; a book to use in your church for Advent season. Boxes of 20 for only $5! http://buff.ly/1G8Y7JF

FOR CHURCH LEADERS: 8 Local Church Ministry Trends to Consider by Philip Nation -  http://buff.ly/1MXwlwK 

FOR TRAINING LEADERSHIP: Ministry Pathways by Ministry Grid; Simplified plans for training ministry leaders throughout your church. http://buff.ly/1jZJIW5

FOR HELP IN WRITING YOUR OWN BIBLE STUDIES: Smallgroup.com offers Bible studies for every book in the Bible and over 200 topics.  Now video supported studies are available! - http://home.smallgroup.com/

FOR SMALL GROUP MINISTRY: Using Your Cell Phone to Lead by Rick Howerton - http://www.lifeway.com/groupministry/2015/10/12/using-your-cell-phone-to-lead/

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Secret Church 16; A Global Gospel in a World of Religions Simulcast by David Platt, April 29, 2016 - http://www.radical.net/secret-church/simulcast

FOR DISCIPLESHIP:  DevoHub, a new way of delivering a daily devotional to your church and community - http://devohub.com/

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Disciples Path, a plan for developing disciples - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Disciples-Path

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: Johnny Hunt’s Men’s Conference simulcast, February 5-6, 2016 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/product-family/johnny-hunt-men's-conference?type=events&intcmp=MensEvents-MTX-Text-JHuntSimulcast-20150903

FOR COLLEGE MINISTRY: Some Things to Know about College Ministry by Steve Parr – http://buff.ly/1MBHVn5 

FOR YOUTH LEADERS: Disciples Path for students – a new series for developing your students discipleship - http://www.lifeway.com/Disciples-Path/Youth/c/N-1z0znzeZ1z141ym?intcmp=DisciplesPath-MTX-Text-Students-20150625

FOR YOUTH LEADERS: International Mission Trips for students - http://accessthenations.com/

FOR YOUTH LEADERS: LifeWay Girls Conference, February 19 & 20, 2016 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/LifeWay-Girls-Conference?type=events&EMID=jk-newslettergcon-092415

FOR KIDS MINISTRY: When are Kids Ready to Hear Jesus Died on the Cross? Podcast - http://www.lifeway.com/kidsministry/2015/08/19/podcast-episode-2-when-are-kids-old-enough-to-hear-that-jesus-died-on-a-cross/

FOR KIDS MINISTRY: I’m a Christian Now resources, newly revised! - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/I'm-a-Christian-Now

24 Perfect Men .... Well, Almost

In honor of "The October Classic", baseball's post season series, I want to share a bit of baseball lore:

The Bible says that nobody’s perfect (Romans 3:23) but I know of twenty-four men that have been perfect … well, at least for the period of one baseball game. According to major league baseball records there have been only twenty-three men who have pitched a perfect baseball game in the entire 140+ years in the sport of baseball.  Plus there is one that accomplished this rare feat, but due to an umpire’s bad call, will always be an asterisk on this list.

I feel Armando Galarraga’s ‘perfect game that isn’t’ needs special recognition. On June 2, 2010 on what should have been the 27^th out, umpire Jim Joyce erroneously called the batter safe at first, thus preventing Galarraga from being added to this prestigious list.  This was before the age of video reviews so when Joyce watched the replay after the game was complete he realized that he had made the wrong call.  To his credit, he admitted his mistake.  The next day, in a very classy move, Galarraga met Joyce at home plate before the start of the day’s game.  Joyce tearfully expressed his deepest apologies and Galarraga graciously accepted it with a handshake and a hug.

What made these 24 men perfect?  They pitched a game where no player on the opposing team got a hit or even reached base on the pitcher during the entire nine inning game. In other words, he faced the minimum number of players that you can in a nine inning game – 27 – and they all either struck out, flied out, or grounded out – and he receives credit for the victory.  To give a little perspective on this accomplishment – there have been more men who have circled the moon than have pitched a perfect game!

I won’t bore you with the details of each game here (but if you’re a baseball fan, email me and I’ll share them), but there is some interesting trivia that swirls around this group of men that were perfect for a short period of time:

Other than the commonality of having pitched a perfect game, these men were widely different.  They came from different parts of the country and the world.  Some were city kids while others were country boys. Many had checkered pasts and were burdened with addictions while some were very religious.  Some spent their lives in baseball while a few have vowed to stay away from the game after their careers were over.

Even their within their perfect game there were degrees of perfection, in terms of pitches pitched and plays made behind them.  Career wise, some enjoyed playing many years in major league baseball while others spent less than five years in ‘the bigs’. Five of the players went on to have Hall of Fame careers while seven players ended their professional careers with an overall losing record.  One ‘perfect pitcher’ never had a winning record in any of his years of pitching professionally.

One thing that is in common with each of these 24 pitchers – their lives were forever changed by the event.   Here’s an example:

Don Larsen & Yogi Berra celebrating
the perfect game

Don Larsen’s perfect game masterpiece (the only one pitched in a World Series) came three days after he had been bombed for four runs in less than two innings in Game 2.  He was pretty sure that he would not be given another chance when, on the morning of Game 5, he found a baseball in one of his shoes at his locker. This was manager Casey Stengel’s way of informing him that he was scheduled to start that day. That day changed his life forever though he had an otherwise unremarkable career (81-91 over 14 seasons).

I’m sure you’re wondering if there is a spiritual point to this baseball trivia history lesson.  Yes there is, in fact, there are five points I want to make:

  

FACT #1:  No one is really perfect, except Jesus, who lived a sinless life

Even more unique than these 24 men throwing perfect games in the short history of the game of baseball is the living of a entire life without any mistakes – a life of perfection.  In fact, throughout recorded history of mankind it has happened only once – that being the life of Jesus of Nazareth. As recorded in the Bible, he was born into this world without sin and lived a sinless life.  There was a purpose for this and that brings us to …

 FACT #2:  The rest of us are not perfect, we’re sinners

As for the rest of us, Romans 3:23 describes us this way,  “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

So nobody’s perfect.  We all fall short of perfection in the eyes of God.  We all have lived through different backgrounds and experiences. Some of us have had to battle, fight, scrape, and overcome obstacles all our lives while others have had the proverbial silver spoon in their mouth. Most of you reading this blog have been involved in church all of your lives but there are others that we know that don’t know a hymn book from the Bible. As different as we all are, each of us do things each and every day that fails to measures up to God’s standard of perfection, so none of us can join that exclusive club of achieving perfection, even for the short span of time it takes to pitch a perfect game.

FACT #3:  Despite our failings, we are not beyond God’s love

Despite failing miserably at being perfect, we all can know and rejoice in the fact that God loves us. In fact, though all of us have sinned and none are perfect, we can find comfort and assurance in understanding the fact that nothing can separate us from God’s love. No matter what we’ve done or how many times we’ve turned our back on God or even thumbed our noses in His face, Romans 8:38-39 tells us that …

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

If we can allow ourselves to embrace this fact and be embraced by His love our lives would be filled with extreme joy.  Sadly, many people have convinced themselves that they are unlovable – by God and by others.

FACT #4: God loves us so much that He has made a way for us to be perfect

Although we may feel defeated and beat up, and we feel inadequate in being loved by God, we need to KNOW that because God still loves us, He desires and longs for us to walk in victory every day of our lives.

In fact God loves us so much, in spite of recognizing we could not be perfect, and because He wants to be in relationship with us so badly that He sent Jesus, who, as 2 Corinthians 5:21 describes him, who knew no sin and God made him to be sin and to die a sinner’s death so his sacrifice can make us righteous or perfect in God’s eyes.

 The writer of Hebrews puts it this way in chapter 10, verse 10 & 14:

“we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.
¹⁴ because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.”

 FACT #5: So in God’s eyes – WE ARE PERFECT!!!!

So when you hear about the exclusiveness of the “Perfect Game” club in baseball, of those 24 men who were perfect for a span of about two hours in a game of baseball remember the exclusiveness of the “Becoming Perfect” club and how, through Jesus Christ, you are now included as a member of it.

And because of the love extended to you, through no achievement of your own, I strongly encourage you to extend that love on further to those around you.

 THINGS YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ….

FOR CHURCH PLANTERS: newchurches.com – a website full of helps for church planters, multisite, and church multiplication - https://newchurches.com/

FOR CHURCH LEADERSHIP: “The 3 Most Important 7’s on Your Church Campus” by Ken Braddy - http://buff.ly/1RfTyOR

FOR CHURCH LEADERSHIP: LifeWay Church Directory Service - http://www.lifeway.com/Article/Services-LifeWay-Church-Directory

FOR TRAINING LEADERSHIP: Ministry Training Essentials, providing core training to the five leading areas of ministry in  your church - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Ministry-Training-Essentials

FOR HELP IN WRITING YOUR OWN BIBLE STUDIES: Smallgroup.com offers Bible studies for every book in the Bible and over 200 topics.  Now video supported studies are available! - http://home.smallgroup.com/

FOR DISCIPLESHIP:  DevoHub, a new way of delivering a daily devotional to your church and community - http://devohub.com/

FOR DISCIPLESHIP: Disciples Path, a plan for developing disciples - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Disciples-Path

FOR WOMEN’S MINISTRY:  Women’s Forum, November 12-14, 2015 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Women%27s-Ministry-Leadership-Forum?type=events

FOR MEN’S MINISTRY: Johnny Hunt’s Men’s Conference simulcast, February 5-6, 2016 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/product-family/johnny-hunt-men's-conference?type=events&intcmp=MensEvents-MTX-Text-JHuntSimulcast-20150903

FOR YOUTH LEADERS: Disciples Path for students – a new series for developing your students discipleship - http://www.lifeway.com/Disciples-Path/Youth/c/N-1z0znzeZ1z141ym?intcmp=DisciplesPath-MTX-Text-Students-20150625

FOR YOUTH LEADERS: International Mission Trips for students - http://accessthenations.com/

FOR YOUTH LEADERS: LifeWay Girls Conference, February 19 & 20, 2016 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/LifeWay-Girls-Conference?type=events&EMID=jk-newslettergcon-092415

FOR KIDS MINISTRY: Sign up for LifeWay Kids podcasts - http://www.lifeway.com/kidsministry/2015/08/04/introducing-the-kids-ministry-101-podcast/?emid=CW-LWK-newsletter-20150901

FOR KIDS MINISTRY: I’m a Christian Now resources, newly revised! - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/I'm-a-Christian-Now