10 Reasons Why Some Men Don't Go to Church

^{by Paul Coughlin, author of No More Christian Nice Guy}

1. Men are told over and over to be innocent as doves, but are not shown or encouraged to be wise as serpents. The same word for 'wise" that Jesus used can also be translated as shrewd and cunning.. The church wants nice men. Jesus, according to his own words, wants shrewd ones.

2. We preach from the NGB: Nice Guy Bible (Retail Price: Your Soul). We emphasize the sweet stuff and let the tougher stuff go right on by. For example, it was the book of Ecclesiastes that brought President Abraham Lincoln more solace during the Civil War than any other writing. Unfortunately the meatier and more penetrating scriptures aren't emphasized much today.

3. We contend that the ideal Christian man is unemotional and if married, sacrifices everything for his wife. According to the latest study from the University of Virginia, this false expectation toward stoicism sets men up for divorce from women who want an emotionally engaged husband And men who sacrifice all their wants and needs for their spouse eventually bore their spouse.

4. Men have been told to avoid anger at all costs, which isn't what the Bible says. They have not been shown a better way: how to properly handle this primary emotion for guys since unresolved anger can lead to depression, alcohol and drug abuse, and even impotency.

5. We promote a dangerous caricature of "gentle Jesus meek and mild," an infamous and ludicrous term penned by the late John Wesley. This dangerous caricature is as fictitious as anything you'll find in Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code. We can't blame Hollywood or the mainstream media.

6. Men, compared to women, are a problem to be fixed instead of a gender to be appreciated at church. This is mighty unattractive and unbiblical. Some of these churches have also given men the unbiblical belief that women are more moral and spiritual, an intrinsically shame-filled message that is also a form of gender bigotry.

7. The church and Christian radio have failed to support a married man's need for regular sexual intimacy with his wife, which is an insult and a betrayal. We are men, not eunuchs.

8. Christian men are unintentionally encouraged to become submissive to other men in a misguided attempt to bolster their "Christian witness." We have been turned into doormats and anvils, instead of bold hammers like the fathers of our faith. Proverbs 28:1 says that the righteous are as bold as lions. Bold men are both rare and not really welcomed at church.

9. We unintentionally create spiritual veal: overprotected children who are taught to embrace false humility and false meekness. Sons and daughters are not encouraged to possess a powerful opinion of themselves because they are deemed unChristian, which sets them up for destructive peer pressure. Sunday School too often creates nice and passive kids instead of good ones.

10. Worship music is often too sentimental for guy tastes. Too often we sing of love, forgiveness, and grace (and they are important) but we shy away from “Onward, Christian soldiers” and “Fight the Good Fight”.

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How to Treat Easter Guests

By Josh Hunt

To hear some believers talk, Easter guests are the enemy. They are some sort of a nuisance. They are consumers who want to perform their religious duty with no intent on follow through. People who want to pacify their conscience by attending church once a year. They are lukewarm. Didn't the Bible say some bad things about the lukewarm? We have enough trouble with “one day a week Christians”. These "one day a year Christians" -- this is too much!

Kingdom focused churches look at Easter guests in a totally different way. Kingdom focused churches look at Easter as one of the great opportunities of the year. This is the one time a year when people who are far from God will come to us. We get an opportunity to touch them, talk to them, teach them and love them. Kingdom focused churches prize this opportunity, look forward to it, pray about it, and plan for it.

And, they have a well thought through strategy for following up with Easter guests. What is your strategy? Consider these three words in guiding your strategy for treating guests, not only at Easter, but also all year long

Promptly

All things being equal, the quicker you get to guests the better. If you do visitation, you will do better on Monday night than Tuesday. The quicker the better.

I knew one church that had it worked out where they had people who attended the early service and middle Sunday School hour. The church took the names of guests in the early part of the 11:00 service. This team who had gone to the early service took one or two cards each and stopped by on the way home, delivering a plate of cookies and a note that read, "Thank you for visiting in our church today."

On the other hand, if you wait three weeks to contact guests, there is not too much you can say at that point to persuade them that you are really, really glad they came.

Persistently

Treatment of guests starts when the guests arrive. I was in a church once that took friendliness and turned it into an art form. They had multiple tiers of greeters—in the parking lot and at the curb and outside the outside doors and inside the outside doors and outside the inside doors and so forth. It made quite an impression.

On the other end of the spectrum are churches that don't even do the courtesy of Wal-Mart: to have one smiling greeter at the door. The Bible tells us, in the form of a command to, "Greet one another." It may seem like a small thing, but I have known people to get very mad when they are not greeted properly.

More important than having seven contacts instead of two the first week is continuing to contact them seven weeks and seven months later. Many people take a long time to come around. No matter how many contacts you do that first week, they are not going to come around. The more important question is how many contacts will they get in the next six months.

Personally

People are not looking for a friendly church; they are looking for friends, as Rick Warren says it. People are looking for someone who will scribble their name on the outside of their phone book. They don't care so much about being in the church's database of contacts. They want to be in your heart.

Will you love them? Will you find of place in your heart for one who will visit this Sunday? Will you love them in common, ordinary, pedestrian ways like having them in your home and sharing your coffee cake with them? People who are opposed to the gospel are not opposed to ice cream. Love them. If we love them they will come and they will come to love our Lord.

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FOR DISCIPLESHIP: "Read the Bible for Life" to increase biblical literacy - www.lifeway.com/readthebibleforlife
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FOR DISCIPLESHIP: "Life Lessons from Mayberry" retreat/conference, Ridgecrest, NC, September 20-22, 2011 - http://www.ridgecrestconferencecenter.org/event/mayberry
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How to Read Your Bible

^{By F.B. Meyer, from Light on Life’s Duties}

All sermons and addresses, all classes, all religious magazines and books can ever take the place of our own quiet study of God’s Word. We may measure our growth in grace by the growth of our love for private Bible study; and we may be sure that there is something seriously wrong when we lose our appetite for the Bread of Life.

Here are a few simple rules which may help to acquire this holy art.

Make time for Bible study. The Divine Teacher must have fixed and uninterrupted hours for meeting His scholars. We must give Him our best and the firstfruits of our days. Hence, there is not time for Bible study like the early morning. WE cannot give such undivided attention to the holy thoughts that glisten like diamonds on its pages after we have opened our letters, glanced through the paper, and joined in the prattle of the breakfast table.

Look for the teaching of the Holy Spirit. No one can so well explain the meaning of his words as he who wrote them … if, then, you want to read the Bible as you should, make much of the Holy Spirit, who inspired it through holy men.

Read the Bible methodically. On the whole there is probably no better way than to read the Bible through once every year. It is sometimes well to read a book of the Bible at a sitting, devoting two or three hours to the sacred task. At other times, it is more profitable to take an epoch, or an episode, or a life, and compare all that is written of it in various parts of the Scripture.

Read your Bible with your pen in hand. None, in my judgment, have learned the secret of enjoying the Bible until they have commenced to mark it neatly: underlining and dating special verses which have cast a light upon their path on special days. Our Bible then becomes the precious memento of bygone hours, and records the history of our inner life.

Seek eagerly your personal profit. Do not read the Bible for others, for class or congregations, but for yourself. Ask, “What does the Holy Spirit mean me to learn by this? What bear should this have on my life?”

Above all, turn from the printed page to prayer. If a promise lies upon the page as a blank check, cash it. If a prayer is recorded, appropriate it and launch it as a feathered arrow from the bow of your desire. If an example of holiness gleams before you, ask God to do as much for you.

Practice what you learn. It is useless to dream of making headway in the knowledge of Scripture unless we are prepared to practice each new and clearly defined duty which looms out before our view.

We are taught, not for our pleasure only, but that we may do. If we will turn each holy precept or command into instant obedience, through the dear grace of Jesus Christ our Lord, God will keep nothing back from us. He will open to us His deepest and sweetest thoughts.

THINGS YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN .....

FOR STAFF LEADERSHIP: How to Use the 'Transformational Church' Assessment Tool - http://www.lifeway.com/article/170567/

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