This is an excerpt from a blog by Kevin
DeYoung. He is reflecting on things he has learned in his ten years of
marriage. These tips can be applied in
many situations, but with Mother’s Day around the corner, they could be a nice
promise (some may need adapting) to give to someone special by a husband, son,
or daughter.
1.
Take time to notice and say thank you. It may be the same
chores, the same meal, and the same kids, but don’t overlook all that your wife
continues to do for you. Pay attention and let her know you are paying
attention.
2.
Speaking of paying attention, don’t try to fake it.
If you are immersed in the game or an email or a book, better to tell her so
instead of making a vain attempt at multitasking. Say “Dear, let me finish this
page/paragraph/play and I’ll be able to give you my undivided attention.”
3.
Get her something for Christmas, Valentine’s Day, her
birthday, and her anniversary. Consider Ground Hog’s Day and Arbor Day just to
be safe. She may tell you she doesn’t need anything. And with some wives, she
may even mean it. But don’t find out if she does.
4.
Surprise her. Don’t be dull. Don’t always be
predictable. Surprise her with a poem, a gift, a trip, a night out with her
friends, a chance to see her mom, a day home from the office. Show her that you
think about her even when you aren’t expected to.
5.
You gotta ‘get it’. While we are talking about
expectation, understand that sometimes she wants you to “get it” without having
to spell it out for you. Yes, it would be easier if your wife just told you
exactly what she wanted when she wanted it. But that ain’t the way things work
with the fairer sex. You have to learn to pick up the coffee without her
telling you to. You have to pick the right restaurant on your own. Sometimes
what she wants more than anything else is for you to figure out what she wants.
That may drive you bonkers, but it’s part of loving your wife well enough to
know her well.
6.
Don’t compare. No wife is perfect (except mine probably),
but don’t try to improve her by comparison. Nothing good is going to happen
when you bring up your momma, your buddy’s wife, or Susanna Wesley. Unless the
comparison is to Jesus, just drop it.
7.
Don’t use up all your words by 6pm. Your wife wants you
to talk, so learn to talk. Talk about your day. Talk about your plans. If you
have feelings, talk about those too. Respond to her communication with more
than nods and hmms. And don’t say “interesting” if you aren’t really listening.
You’ll get yourself in trouble.
8.
Don’t talk about leading, just lead. A lengthy discussion
on the meaning of kephale will fascinate a few wives, but almost all
wives appreciate a husband’s gentle leadership. Ask her to pray. Say “let’s.”
Take initiative with the kids, especially in discipline. Call the babysitter.
Iron out the details. Don’t shy away from hard decisions. Be a man.
9.
Make her laugh. A marriage without humor is like
oatmeal without brown sugar: it might still be good for you, but it’s basically
congealed mush. If you’ve stopped laughing, you may have started hardening.
10.
Repent and forgive. Say “I’m sorry.” Be specific and don’t
make excuses. Try to see things her way. If you were only half wrong, own up to
your half of the wrong. And when she owns up to her half (or her three-quarters
or her one-eighth), give her grace, give her a hug, and move on.
THINGS YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ….
COMING NEW BIBLE STUDY CURRICULUM: The
Gospel Project, for age 3 through adult, for samples and to sign up for a
free trial use - http://gospelproject.com/
FOR ‘BOOMERS’ MINISTRY: A new magazine
just for boomers, More Living; read
through a preview issue - http://www.lifeway.com/article/more-living-new-lifeway-magazine-urges-boomers-do-what-matters?cid=rdr-moreliving
FOR MEN: Game Plan for Life simulcast
with Joe Gibbs & Tony Evans, May 26 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/Game-Plan-for-Life-Simulcast?type=events&intcmp=iTeam4-mtx-simulcasts-LWMen-GamePlanSimulcast-20111111
FOR MEN: Sleeping Giant by Kenny Luck,
an intentional discipleship process for me, moving them from ‘affiliated’ to ‘activated’
- http://www.lifeway.com/Product/sleeping-giant-dvd-leader-kit-P005469852
FOR MEN: Men of Honor simulcast,
Friday, June 15th; a night of teaching, worship, & testimonies
with Sherwood Baptist’s Michael Katt, Kendrick brothers and cast of Courageous,
cost is only $5 - http://www.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/men-of-honor?type=events&CID=RDR-menofhonor
FOR WOMEN: “Every Life is Beautiful” :The
October Baby movie Bible Study, - http://www.lifeway.com/Product/every-life-is-beautiful-the-october-baby-bible-study-leader-kit-P005508071
FOR LEADER TRAINING: Transform: Changing Lives Through Teaching
Conference, September 22, Hebron Baptist Church, Dacula - http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Leadership-Training-Transform-2012-Dacula-GA
FOR LEADER TRAINING: Teach the Bible for Life Conference,
September 28 & 29, Nashville, TN - http://www.lifeway.com/n/product-family/teach-the-bible-for-life?type=events
FOR EDUCATION MINISTERS: Excel 2012 Conference, September 24-26,
Nashville, TN - http://www.lifeway.com/Event/Leadership-Training-Excel-2012-Nashville-TN
